How I Know I Have the Best Husband Ever

I have the best husband in the world.  And I know some of you will argue your husband is better but before we get into the debate, I'd like to lay out my reasons for thinking he's the best.

• He makes me coffee in the morning and frequently I don't even have to ask.  
• Why it matters: I don't always want coffee.  He always asks and if I seem undecided, he makes it for me anyway.  Then if I don't want coffee, he doesn't get mad
• He calls me when he's leaving work.
• Why it matters: Right now we have one working vehicle.  He calls to ask if I need anything from the store.  If I do he always cheerfully picks it up and brings it home.  If I don't then he still happily comes home to me.  
• The other reason it matters: He knows I like to have dinner about ready for him when he gets home.  By calling me, I know whether to slow dinner down or speed it up.
• He calls me from work and/or IM's with me throughout the day.
• Why it matters: I know this would annoy the crud out of some women but he's not just my husband, he's also my best friend.  We chat and tease each other all day long.  If one of us is having a rough day, the other is there to life them up.  I can always count on him to lift my spirits.
• He works. Hard.  Frequently at a job he doesn't really like.
• Why it matters: I'm a stay at home wife and we both really like that.  He supports us financially.  And while occasionally things are tight, and it would be much easier if I worked too, he never asks me to get a job.  If I wanted to work outside our home, he'd support my decision and would do whatever I needed to help out but he'd never ask me to.
• When I'm having a precursor to a bad day as described in a previous post, he comes home, hugs me, tells me he loves me and kisses me.
• Why it matters: He's ready to be loving and affectionate no matter how cranky or snarly I am.  And when that bad day finally materializes?  He holds me while I cry and not only tells me it's okay, but makes me believe it too.
• No matter what I do or say, he's there.
• Why it matters: I'm not an easy person to live with.  I accept that about myself.  So does he.  Enough said about that.
• His values are the same as mine.
• Why it matters: Although it may sometimes seem that work is a priority to him, that's not true.  Family is the priority and that sometimes means he puts what he wants to do aside, so he can provide for me.  He put his desire to move to Oklahoma on hold for eleven years because of familial obligations.  Before we moved, he asked me if I needed to stay longer.
• He lets me hold the remote.
• Why it matters:  I have control issues.  He knows that and while he occasionally holds the remote to annoy me, he frequently lets me hold it.  In return, I try to turn on things I know he likes to watch.
• He senses my mood and changes his behavior accordingly.
• Why it matters:  Notice I didn't say he does whatever it takes to appease me.  I said he changes his behavior.  Sometimes that means making me angry until I blow up.  I feel better afterward though.  Sometimes it means talking about things that hurt me until I cry.  Though after a good cry with him holding me, I feel refreshed and don't hurt.  Sometimes it means teasing me until I lighten up and laugh.  I think that's self explanatory.
• He encourages the child in me to come out and play.
• Why it matters:  I have fond memories of my childhood.  I also have terrible memories of my childhood.  At times I grew up way too fast.  He lets me be the little girl I didn't always get to be.
• He does chores around the house.
• Why it matters: I'm not always the best housekeeper and I know it.  However, he is always more than willing to help me out and do what he can around the house.  If I ask him to do something he does it.  Not the way I would but it gets done and really isn't that what matters?
• He loves me when I'm happy and childlike, he loves me when I'm on the warpath, he loves me when I collapse in tears.  He loves me.
• Why it matters:  His love is unconditional.  I feel accepted and cherished.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.  Next I'll try to do a posting about what I do in return for him.

Facebook Status

This was my facebook status at one point today:

Did you know that the people that seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive?  Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time is usually the one that needs it the most? ~ Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: I love you, I'm sorry and Help me?  Put this as your status if you agree...Not easy huh?

This was an especially poignant status for me.  It was posted by my cousin Lynn.  (*waves into cyberspace "Hi Lynn")

It reminded me a lot of my mother.  She spent a lot of time taking care of me, my sister, my dad when he was sick, and even my grandparents.  She took so much on and it was so hard for her to say she needed help.  I wish she had said a little more often.  I know she felt like she didn't have any other choice, if she didn't do it who would?

I do wonder if she would have lived longer if she'd asked for help more often, instead of always shouldering the load alone.  I have a tendency to do the same thing but I also tend to fall apart and ask for help.  I have a wonderful husband and daughter who usually know I'm about to crumble about three days before I do.  They spend those three days poking at me.  Not trying to help, not trying to get me to open up about whatever is stressing me out. Poking at me.  It sends me over the edge, I cry, I get mad, I stop talking to them.  I generally behave like an idiot.

And then I do what I should have done all along and talk to them. I am getting better about it.  I'm learning to talk before they start poking me.  I'm learning when they start poking it's time to figure out what's wrong and try to fix it rather than contemplating carrying around a rolling pin to bash over their heads.

Basically, I'm a work in progress.  And that's okay.  As long as I'm working on it.

So the next time a family member, a friend, a loved one is being incredibly strong, taking care of everyone else, maybe just reach out and take care of them for a minute.  Offer a hug, make them dinner, sit with a sick  relative or just pray for them.  You'd be surprised what a difference you might make.