It's not Monday. It's Wednesday. Which means I should be updating my schooling blog. However, this isn't a normal post. I hope to get back to doing those a week from Monday. In the meantime, I have to vent and since this is my blog and the person about which I am going to be speaking is not likely to ever read this or even know themselves if they do stumble upon this, I'll complete my thoughts here.
I've had to step away from a debate into which I was drawn. It was on my niece's facebook page and while I don't normally like getting into all the drama, this was a debate that I thought I would enjoy. And I was. The topic isn't as important as the debate itself.
I thought I was debating with someone who was going to really debate an issue and discuss an important news item. My niece had posted something to her wall and he had been the first to comment. I agreed with nearly everything the guy said except one point. I made my comment and shortly thereafter, he replied. I again made my point, using different logic and verbiage. He again replied with a long response designed to correct my opinion. Not change my mind, correct me.
I responded again with a new point. He again used the same tired argument. And again told me I was wrong.
Now, if you know me personally, you know I hate to be told I'm wrong. Show me proof of an error and I will own up to it and tell you I was mistaken, even wrong. But don't tell me my opinion is wrong. Especially since the topic is about something unlikely to ever occur.
The great thing about debate is looking for facts to support your argument. I love doing that. In fact, (Music Man you might want to skip this sentence) I occasionally choose an opposing side from my husband just so we can debate an issue.
The problem occurs when you debate with someone who 1)"writes off" your opinion/statements, 2) repeats the same argument with no evidence they are correct, 3) tells you "you're wrong" but doesn't offer proof, 4) and finally says "the only way to fix this is...".
If you want to debate with someone, by all means do so. I would only ask that you pay attention to what the other person says, don't dismiss a statement because it's different than your opinion. And don't dismiss it because you think it's a statement that is abstract.
Next, don't keep repeating the same argument you heard on talk radio. That alone will irritate the crud out of me but when all you can do is repeat what some radio talk show host said, you're not really thinking, you're mimicking. Think about what you're going to say, show proof, you might change someone's mind.
Don't tell someone their opinion is wrong unless you have proof. For example, if someone tells you the house is on fire but there's no fire anywhere in the building, they're wrong. If they tell you they think orange juice is too bitter, don't tell them they're wrong, just say you disagree or prove why the juice is sweet.
The last thing you should ever say is "the only way to fix this is..." It might be the best way, it might be the only way you see as working, it might be the way that is most cost effective or makes the most logical and logistical sense, but it's seldom the only way to fix something. Using that phrase makes you think you sound intelligent, like you understand the problem and are offering an honest solution. What I hear when those words are spoken is "my solution is the only one that I'm willing to discuss and your opinion doesn't matter."
Oh, and when your solution is the same one every radio talk host spews, I also hear, "I have no creativity and I'm too lazy to research this and see if there's a more plausible solution."
And now back to your regularly scheduled evening...
