And that means it's nearly frantic writing time!
This year I am so not prepared. Normally I have an idea for a story sometime in September, early October at the latest.
This year I'd had a thought but it turns out, I'm not as ready to confront the past as I thought I was, so instead of writing a story of two elderly women and their adventures I spent the weekend in a panic trying to figure out what to write.
Then yesterday afternoon, I had a moment of inspiration. Today I've spent time working on an outline. The biggest challenge will be missing the first two days of NaNo. Well, having to write on my iPad cause I won't be home and I'm not taking my computer.
That said, I am going to an event with Miss Goofy. It's happening in Los Angeles this coming weekend. At the convention center in fact. She and I are going to be gone for 3 nights and four days. By ourselves! We're pretty excited about it.
Not sure there's anything else going on at the moment. Mostly I'm just wondering if my neighbor across the street realizes it was in the 70's today and should be tomorrow too. She was wearing a jacket and knit cap most of the day and looked like she was freezing. I don't know how she's going to survive the snow.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
Of Possible Furloughs and Other Random Happenings
Well, there is a good chance the Grumpy Old Man will be furloughed later this week. We'll see how it goes and if it happens. My bathroom might get done if he is furloughed. Well, done sooner anyway. Sadly, I don't know how much I'll get done. It seems like when he is off, I get so little done. And I'm not just talking about school work, but house work too so we'll see what gets done.
I learned the mobile home my grandmother bought and was living in when she passed away was finally sold. Miss Goofy met the woman who bought it and said she was very nice. Sadly the park manager lied about some things in regards to the trailer, though what I don't know. I do know that while the shower in the master bathroom was fixed, the two broken windows weren't. And apparently there are cracks in the secondary bathroom shower.
I started making notes for my NaNoWriMo book for November. I'm doing something a little bit different this time. I'm going to write a book that feature two older women, best friends in fact, and the adventures they go on when they leave their former lives behind. It's a tribute to my grandmother and her best friend. I'm really excited about it and looking forward to writing something really different for me.
School is progressing slowly but I am making some progress.
Music Man's knee is less painful than it was but it's still got moments when it's pretty sore. He's putting applications in all over the place in hopes of finding another job cause he is not going to be able to do the one he had when he got hurt. So, we're hoping something comes up soon. His doctor can release him in November but if he finds something sooner that doesn't involve being on his feet 8 hours a day, his doctor said he might release him early.
I lost 3 pounds last week, so I'm pretty happy about that. Sadly I didn't go to the gym much so I think it was just from watching what I eat. I'll have to step things up for the gym to be effective.
I think that's all the news for the past couple of weeks. I'll try to update again next week.
I learned the mobile home my grandmother bought and was living in when she passed away was finally sold. Miss Goofy met the woman who bought it and said she was very nice. Sadly the park manager lied about some things in regards to the trailer, though what I don't know. I do know that while the shower in the master bathroom was fixed, the two broken windows weren't. And apparently there are cracks in the secondary bathroom shower.
I started making notes for my NaNoWriMo book for November. I'm doing something a little bit different this time. I'm going to write a book that feature two older women, best friends in fact, and the adventures they go on when they leave their former lives behind. It's a tribute to my grandmother and her best friend. I'm really excited about it and looking forward to writing something really different for me.
School is progressing slowly but I am making some progress.
Music Man's knee is less painful than it was but it's still got moments when it's pretty sore. He's putting applications in all over the place in hopes of finding another job cause he is not going to be able to do the one he had when he got hurt. So, we're hoping something comes up soon. His doctor can release him in November but if he finds something sooner that doesn't involve being on his feet 8 hours a day, his doctor said he might release him early.
I lost 3 pounds last week, so I'm pretty happy about that. Sadly I didn't go to the gym much so I think it was just from watching what I eat. I'll have to step things up for the gym to be effective.
I think that's all the news for the past couple of weeks. I'll try to update again next week.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Missed A Week
I still don't have a shower in my bathroom. But I have been able to use the Grouchy Old Man's so I'm stinking up the place.
Music Man's glucose numbers are coming down and the more we go to the gym, the lower they get. We've actually had several tests come in the normal range so we're excited about that.
I started working on getting the house and myself prepared for the holidays. I've begun Christmas shopping. I've bought a few decorations for Halloween and harvest. This week I need to decide if I'm making any gifts and if so I need to plan what I'm doing and get started. I start my Christmas card list too.
And finally, I have to say, to my best friend:
Happy Birthday DolphinLady!
Music Man's glucose numbers are coming down and the more we go to the gym, the lower they get. We've actually had several tests come in the normal range so we're excited about that.
I started working on getting the house and myself prepared for the holidays. I've begun Christmas shopping. I've bought a few decorations for Halloween and harvest. This week I need to decide if I'm making any gifts and if so I need to plan what I'm doing and get started. I start my Christmas card list too.
And finally, I have to say, to my best friend:
Happy Birthday DolphinLady!
We have been best friends since the summer before we started high school and I never could have made it through some of the stuff that's happened in my life without her. Love you Sis!
Monday, August 31, 2015
A Crazy Couple of Weeks
The past two weeks have been chaotic. Music Man had his surgery, which I covered in my last post. Miss Goofy went to visit TheWeatherGod and DolphinLady and I pretty much just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. I've been a little stressed.
Back to the story about the doctor visits. Apparently, the healthcare company that we have been going to had issued a laptop to an employee. Said employee had left the laptop in their personal car. Said car was broken into and laptop was stolen. The hard drive was password protected, however it was not encrypted. The healthcare company was supposed to notify all patients of a potential breach of their privacy. We found out cause I was not allowed to go back with Music Man for two appointments now. Something most doctors recommend since as a patient it's very difficult to remember what instructions you've been given. Anyway I was fuming the last time they wouldn't let me go back with him and staring at poster on the wall for the company. It listed a website for the company at the bottom of the poster, so I picked up my cell phone and looked up the website.
That would be how I found out about the breach. Funny thing, I wasn't allowed to go back around the time we should have been contacted by. Hence the reason I think the two are connected. Not to mention they called us last Friday to remind my husband he had an appointment with the doctor who did his surgery on Monday morning. He said, I thought my appointment was the 1st. The girl told him no, it was Monday and it was with the surgeon not the clinic. Okay, we were going to take Miss Goofy so she could go for her trip anyway, so we went with it.
Today, they called to remind him of his appointment tomorrow. Music Man may have gotten upset and told them no, he just saw them last week, it's been two weeks since surgery he's not scheduled for another appointment until the 15th, we thought. She looked up the appointment saw he'd seen Dr. E last week and that he had an appointment scheduled for the 15th and canceled tomorrow's appointment. Now I just hope it really was canceled cause supposedly it was taken care of last week. We'll see.
So after surgery, we were told by the doctor and the nurse, that Music Man had developed diabetes. We'd known for a long time that he was borderline. His glucose was over 300. Way too high. So we immediately started researching what to do. I spoke with the nurse extensively. He had a lot of advice and suggestions. I messaged my sister and then posted on facebook. I've gotten a lot more information. What we've found is helping his numbers the most, no carbs, or very little carbs, lots of proteins like chicken and oddly enough peanut butter has helped. And the big one, exercise.
We joined a gym on the 26th. We've been twice. I know not often enough but we've felt so much better when we've gone. Saturday I did not want to go but Music Man finally convinced me. I felt incredible afterward. Today, I did not want to go, but I did and again, I feel incredible.
And the best part? The shower afterward. Yeah, cause Music Man told the Grouchy Old Man about a crack in our tub. So on Friday, he (the Grouchy Old Man) removed the tub. He didn't replace it yet cause he's decided that means it's time to redo the bathroom. So we're in the middle of a remodel, again. And this time we don't have a shower in our bathroom. We can use the one in his bathroom but I like to shower late at night, right before bed. Haven't been able to do that since Friday. Oh and Thursday, I was so tired I didn't shower before bed. Friday I couldn't shower, so Saturday after working out, I had to. Somehow I didn't get a chance to shower Sunday before Grouchy went to bed so, this afternoon, a shower at the gym was awesome!
Well, that's the news from here! Have a great week!
Back to the story about the doctor visits. Apparently, the healthcare company that we have been going to had issued a laptop to an employee. Said employee had left the laptop in their personal car. Said car was broken into and laptop was stolen. The hard drive was password protected, however it was not encrypted. The healthcare company was supposed to notify all patients of a potential breach of their privacy. We found out cause I was not allowed to go back with Music Man for two appointments now. Something most doctors recommend since as a patient it's very difficult to remember what instructions you've been given. Anyway I was fuming the last time they wouldn't let me go back with him and staring at poster on the wall for the company. It listed a website for the company at the bottom of the poster, so I picked up my cell phone and looked up the website.
That would be how I found out about the breach. Funny thing, I wasn't allowed to go back around the time we should have been contacted by. Hence the reason I think the two are connected. Not to mention they called us last Friday to remind my husband he had an appointment with the doctor who did his surgery on Monday morning. He said, I thought my appointment was the 1st. The girl told him no, it was Monday and it was with the surgeon not the clinic. Okay, we were going to take Miss Goofy so she could go for her trip anyway, so we went with it.
Today, they called to remind him of his appointment tomorrow. Music Man may have gotten upset and told them no, he just saw them last week, it's been two weeks since surgery he's not scheduled for another appointment until the 15th, we thought. She looked up the appointment saw he'd seen Dr. E last week and that he had an appointment scheduled for the 15th and canceled tomorrow's appointment. Now I just hope it really was canceled cause supposedly it was taken care of last week. We'll see.
So after surgery, we were told by the doctor and the nurse, that Music Man had developed diabetes. We'd known for a long time that he was borderline. His glucose was over 300. Way too high. So we immediately started researching what to do. I spoke with the nurse extensively. He had a lot of advice and suggestions. I messaged my sister and then posted on facebook. I've gotten a lot more information. What we've found is helping his numbers the most, no carbs, or very little carbs, lots of proteins like chicken and oddly enough peanut butter has helped. And the big one, exercise.
We joined a gym on the 26th. We've been twice. I know not often enough but we've felt so much better when we've gone. Saturday I did not want to go but Music Man finally convinced me. I felt incredible afterward. Today, I did not want to go, but I did and again, I feel incredible.
And the best part? The shower afterward. Yeah, cause Music Man told the Grouchy Old Man about a crack in our tub. So on Friday, he (the Grouchy Old Man) removed the tub. He didn't replace it yet cause he's decided that means it's time to redo the bathroom. So we're in the middle of a remodel, again. And this time we don't have a shower in our bathroom. We can use the one in his bathroom but I like to shower late at night, right before bed. Haven't been able to do that since Friday. Oh and Thursday, I was so tired I didn't shower before bed. Friday I couldn't shower, so Saturday after working out, I had to. Somehow I didn't get a chance to shower Sunday before Grouchy went to bed so, this afternoon, a shower at the gym was awesome!
Well, that's the news from here! Have a great week!
Monday, August 17, 2015
Surgery Day!!!
Way back in January, Music Man was at work. He was climbing into a lifted truck. His foot caught on a carpet hook and when he moved to sit down, his foot stayed in one place. That's how he tore his meniscus. It's been painful for him.
He had surgery back in February. The doctor who did was very kind, made me feel a lot better, and did a good job on the knee.
In May, Music Man was at physical therapy. They were doing the evaluation for the doctor on his recovery. They had him do a squat. Music Man even asked if they were sure they wanted him to do a squat. They were adamant. He had to do a squat. He felt his knee go funny, it popped loudly and was quite painful. They iced it but also said they weren't comfortable treating him again until he saw the doctor again. (Duh, dumb ass.)
He saw the surgeon at the end of May and he was not happy about the squat. He sent Music Man for another MRI of his knee. When we saw him in June, someone, (okay it was me) forgot to bring the CD with the MRI on it. He was able to read the report though and knew the meniscus had torn through.
He told us, "My next surgery day is in July. As soon as we get approval, we'll add you to the roster."
I don't know if the nurse at the doctor's office failed to send over one of the forms or if the nurse case manager for the insurance company lost the form, but one of them did. So approval didn't come until the Wednesday before surgery. I had already made plans for Thursday morning, so when the doctor's office called and wanted Music Man in for his pre-op appointment, we had to tell them, we couldn't do that on such short notice. And by short notice, I mean they called at 4:55 pm on Wednesday to set up a 9 am appointment for Thursday. Could we go in Friday morning then? No, we have stuff planned.
At this point, the office staff were getting annoyed but they are the ones who suddenly needed us to come in for an appointment and frankly that ticked me off. So they finally said, "Well if you don't come in on Friday then it will be August before we can do the surgery."
Music Man was annoyed at this point and said, "Well since I hadn't heard anything I sort of figured it would be August. That actually works out better for me anyway. My wife is busy for the rest of this week and most of next."
So, we saw the doctor in July and explained we hadn't been there for the surgery cause of an issue with the insurance. He understood and said that he'd see us in August.
We had the pre-op appointment last Tuesday and that was a nightmare in itself that I'll cover another day. I've said all this to say, this morning Music Man has a second knee surgery for his torn meniscus. They will likely remove the rest of the meniscus and that will cause arthritis to set in early.
I'm not sure where all this going, I'm just hoping for a few prayers and good vibes coming our way. The surgery is set for 9:30 am. Hopefully it will go faster than the last one did. We spent nearly all day waiting for him to go in then to finally have his turn.
Next week, the pre-op appointment and the chaos that has been scheduling this surgery.
Have a great week!
He had surgery back in February. The doctor who did was very kind, made me feel a lot better, and did a good job on the knee.
In May, Music Man was at physical therapy. They were doing the evaluation for the doctor on his recovery. They had him do a squat. Music Man even asked if they were sure they wanted him to do a squat. They were adamant. He had to do a squat. He felt his knee go funny, it popped loudly and was quite painful. They iced it but also said they weren't comfortable treating him again until he saw the doctor again. (Duh, dumb ass.)
He saw the surgeon at the end of May and he was not happy about the squat. He sent Music Man for another MRI of his knee. When we saw him in June, someone, (okay it was me) forgot to bring the CD with the MRI on it. He was able to read the report though and knew the meniscus had torn through.
He told us, "My next surgery day is in July. As soon as we get approval, we'll add you to the roster."
I don't know if the nurse at the doctor's office failed to send over one of the forms or if the nurse case manager for the insurance company lost the form, but one of them did. So approval didn't come until the Wednesday before surgery. I had already made plans for Thursday morning, so when the doctor's office called and wanted Music Man in for his pre-op appointment, we had to tell them, we couldn't do that on such short notice. And by short notice, I mean they called at 4:55 pm on Wednesday to set up a 9 am appointment for Thursday. Could we go in Friday morning then? No, we have stuff planned.
At this point, the office staff were getting annoyed but they are the ones who suddenly needed us to come in for an appointment and frankly that ticked me off. So they finally said, "Well if you don't come in on Friday then it will be August before we can do the surgery."
Music Man was annoyed at this point and said, "Well since I hadn't heard anything I sort of figured it would be August. That actually works out better for me anyway. My wife is busy for the rest of this week and most of next."
So, we saw the doctor in July and explained we hadn't been there for the surgery cause of an issue with the insurance. He understood and said that he'd see us in August.
We had the pre-op appointment last Tuesday and that was a nightmare in itself that I'll cover another day. I've said all this to say, this morning Music Man has a second knee surgery for his torn meniscus. They will likely remove the rest of the meniscus and that will cause arthritis to set in early.
I'm not sure where all this going, I'm just hoping for a few prayers and good vibes coming our way. The surgery is set for 9:30 am. Hopefully it will go faster than the last one did. We spent nearly all day waiting for him to go in then to finally have his turn.
Next week, the pre-op appointment and the chaos that has been scheduling this surgery.
Have a great week!
Saturday, June 20, 2015
17 Years Ago
Seventeen years ago today Music Man and I were married. It was his first marriage and my second. I remember hearing from other women how much more nervous they were the second time they got married. After all, they had either been through a divorce or death of a spouse and they knew the pain that could come from ending a marriage. I spent a lot of time in deep thought when I met Music Man. Wondering if it could possibly work for us. There were a number of strikes against us.
- He was four and a half years younger than me.
- He was in college and working part-time.
- He was taking care of his ill father.
- He was struggling to stay in college.
- I was divorced.
- I had a child.
- I was working part-time.
- I had dropped out of school.
And that was before we started to date. Our first date was February 21, 1998. He proposed on March 27, 1998 and we got married on June 20, 1998. Yeah, you can say it was fast.
On our wedding day, Music Man was nervous. Not about whether we'd make our marriage work, we'd already discussed that and had agreed it would. He worried about being the husband I needed and the father my daughter deserved. He has done wonderfully at both.
However, I was not nervous on our wedding day. Sure some details had me concerned but I was calm about the future. I knew I was marrying the right man, possibly because I'd already married the wrong one. But I just remember feeling confident and excited about our future. I remember knowing we'd get through anything.
That said, I've noticed a lot of people asking couples who have been married a long time how they did it and I've read a lot of articles by people who have achieved some astounding anniversary. What those articles don't take into consideration is the individual needs of each marriage. That said, I am going to list here what works for Music Man and I.
- Laugh together. If Music Man and I hadn't and didn't still laugh at some of the stuff that's happened to us over the years we never would have made it this long. Laughter is healing but it also brings us closer to each other, it keeps us in tune with the other's mind space, and it gives us the opportunity to be silly together.
- Music. For us, music is an important part of our marriage. Me singing, poorly at times, and him playing whatever instrument he can get his hands on at the moment, brings us together. Music again gives us insight into how the other thinks and feels at the moment.
- Touch. I'm not talking about sex here, though that is important too. I'm talking about hand holding, a hug, a peck on the cheek or even just a gentle caress on the back as you pass each other in the kitchen while preparing dinner. Humans crave contact with other humans and a gentle touch lets us feel connected to another person.
- Taking the time to learn about the other. I love Lego's. Seriously, it's pretty close to an addiction for me. I may have missed my calling as an architect or engineer. That said, Music Man buys me Lego's. It fills a need in me and it shows me he paid attention to which ones I said I really wanted. He loves stuffed animals. I buy him stuffies as often as I can find space for them. Again it fills that need for him and shows him I paid attention when he said he would love a stuffed ________.
- Argue. Yeah, that's right, I said arguing helps our marriage. It allows us to get things off our chest we had kept to ourselves so as not to hurt the other. Now, I'm not saying be abusive or call each other names. What I am saying is by arguing we have shown each other we have a passion about our lives and we feel strongly enough to risk making the other mad or hurting feelings in order to fix a problem.
- Apologize. This one is sometimes difficult because you may feel you are one hundred percent in the right. And you may well be. But going to your spouse and humbly saying, "I'm sorry we quarreled," and having them say, "Me too," followed by a big hug, is the best feeling in the world.
- Assume the best of each other. Music Man told me a long time ago that if he said something and it could be taken two ways and one of those ways hurt my feelings then he meant the other way. This one is hard because when someone says "Wow, you look awful, are you okay?" it's hard not to be hurt. That said, when Music Man says to me, "You look tired," I know he's really asking me, "Do you feel okay? Are you in pain? Is there anything I can do to help?"
So that's our secret, seventeen years and that's what's worked for us. Oh and just to be fair, it hasn't always been rainbows and anniversaries. There's been illness, injuries, money worries, job worries, past emotional baggage, PMS, family problems, holidays, and generally life. And yet, I wouldn't trade it for the world and I'm glad I had my best friend by my side through it all.
I love you, Music Man. Thank you for being with me on this journey. I look forward to another seventeen (at least) years with you!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
It Was Time
I woke up this morning and looked at the time. 8:41. Time to get started on what was sure to be a difficult day.
Music Man and Miss Goofy were already up and on the back porch with our dog, Courage. I dressed quickly and began getting ready to leave the house.
Miss Goofy came in and told me the time frame for leaving the house. I nodded and kept working. Music Man had breakfast and so did Miss Goofy. I ate just before walking out the door. Music Man walked Courage and Miss Goofy got in the back of our SUV. I pulled the truck forward so Courage didn't have as far to walk. Music Man brought him to the back of the vehicle and lifted him into the back. I was proud of Courage for not completely freaking out and panicking.
The drive to the vet took much less time than we had anticipated. We were a half hour early.
I waited in the truck while Music Man and Miss Goofy went inside to discuss what was going to happen and how best to get Courage into an exam room.
Courage panted a lot. He was a little cold and a lot scared. I told him stories about the Elysian Fields. Yes, I know they were reserved for humans related to gods and other heroes. I also know it was expanded to include humans chosen by gods. I'd like to think dogs would have loved romping and playing in some place like that. I know Courage would have loved to run and jump and chase rabbits there.
Music Man and Miss Goofy came out to the truck and we got Courage out and standing so he could go pee. We even got him into the exam room with little difficulty.
The vet, an incredibly sweet lady, with such a good way with animals and a tender heart, and her equally helpful vet tech, came into the exam room. We discussed costs and what was going to happen. After a few minutes another tech came inside, she had the syringe for the sedation.
The vet warned us, it was the part that would hurt. Courage didn't cry or struggle, he did look a bit annoyed though. The tech and vet left the room while they waited for it to take effect. We hugged Courage and told him we loved him. We told him we didn't want him to hurt anymore.
The vet and tech returned and carefully scooted him around. The vet shaved part of his paw and they began the final injection. Music Man and Miss Goofy pet him and loved on him while I could only stand and watch as the fluid left the syringe and flowed into our beloved dog.
He had been such a joy to have.
He stopped breathing before the injection was finished. The vet waited a couple of minutes after she finished the injection and then listened for a heartbeat. When she was satisfied there was none, she handed the stethoscope to her tech who listened and after a minute she was also satisfied.
The vet was even choked up as she injected Courage. Finally, the two women stood and told us we could stay as long as we wanted. We all hugged him again, knowing he wasn't hurting anymore and we were only hugging an empty vessel. We told him we loved him, we thanked him for being our dog and we quietly gathered our things to leave.
Miss Goofy let them know we were finished with our good-byes and we made our way to the SUV. It felt weird to drive away and leave him. I know he is much better off now. I know keeping him alive would have been torturous to him. It still hurts us though.
He was six weeks old when we got him. A big furry, fuzzy, rompy, barking puppy who we could tell was going to be enormous. He was such a sweet dog though. And without more than a stump for a tail. He was the first dog I'd ever had. And I had always been afraid of big dogs. All signs pointed to him being huge.
The first couple of weeks it was just he and I during the day, while Music Man worked and Miss Goofy was in first grade. I'd sit on one end of the couch and he'd jump up on the other end and bark at me. I had no idea what he wanted, I just knew those first weeks it scared the crap out of me when he did that. Not just the noise of his bark in my quiet house but I didn't know what he wanted. Part of me feared he might try to bite me.
I'd get up and take him outside. He'd go running to play and I'd go back inside. He'd be back at the door within a minute, barking to come back inside with me.
Eventually we figured out how to play together. And I even looked forward to my time alone with him. He was a great listener. He'd just nap on my foot while I chattered away about whatever was bothering me.
He'd jump on the bed at bedtime and take over Music Man's side, snuggling into me when he did. Until Music Man finally could convince him to get down.
A year ago we took him to the vet, he had blood in his urine. She was so kind and caring, we knew when the time came and it was necessary to have him put down, she was the one we wanted to do it. She was the reason we had another year with him. She prepared us for the day we'd have to come back and we wouldn't bring him home. She knew it was coming but also that we weren't ready. Like I said, she gave us another year with him.
The last six months, he's been in a lot of pain. He stopped playing and mostly barked. He'd started showing signs of dementia, where he'd lose us and get scared. He wouldn't eat much. He lost a lot of weight, probably forty-five pounds. He'd been about 120. He had trouble sleeping. He didn't even want comfort anymore.
It was time.
RIP Courage. We love you. Thank you for being our dog.
Music Man and Miss Goofy were already up and on the back porch with our dog, Courage. I dressed quickly and began getting ready to leave the house.
Miss Goofy came in and told me the time frame for leaving the house. I nodded and kept working. Music Man had breakfast and so did Miss Goofy. I ate just before walking out the door. Music Man walked Courage and Miss Goofy got in the back of our SUV. I pulled the truck forward so Courage didn't have as far to walk. Music Man brought him to the back of the vehicle and lifted him into the back. I was proud of Courage for not completely freaking out and panicking.
The drive to the vet took much less time than we had anticipated. We were a half hour early.
I waited in the truck while Music Man and Miss Goofy went inside to discuss what was going to happen and how best to get Courage into an exam room.
Courage panted a lot. He was a little cold and a lot scared. I told him stories about the Elysian Fields. Yes, I know they were reserved for humans related to gods and other heroes. I also know it was expanded to include humans chosen by gods. I'd like to think dogs would have loved romping and playing in some place like that. I know Courage would have loved to run and jump and chase rabbits there.
Music Man and Miss Goofy came out to the truck and we got Courage out and standing so he could go pee. We even got him into the exam room with little difficulty.
The vet, an incredibly sweet lady, with such a good way with animals and a tender heart, and her equally helpful vet tech, came into the exam room. We discussed costs and what was going to happen. After a few minutes another tech came inside, she had the syringe for the sedation.
The vet warned us, it was the part that would hurt. Courage didn't cry or struggle, he did look a bit annoyed though. The tech and vet left the room while they waited for it to take effect. We hugged Courage and told him we loved him. We told him we didn't want him to hurt anymore.
The vet and tech returned and carefully scooted him around. The vet shaved part of his paw and they began the final injection. Music Man and Miss Goofy pet him and loved on him while I could only stand and watch as the fluid left the syringe and flowed into our beloved dog.
He had been such a joy to have.
He stopped breathing before the injection was finished. The vet waited a couple of minutes after she finished the injection and then listened for a heartbeat. When she was satisfied there was none, she handed the stethoscope to her tech who listened and after a minute she was also satisfied.
The vet was even choked up as she injected Courage. Finally, the two women stood and told us we could stay as long as we wanted. We all hugged him again, knowing he wasn't hurting anymore and we were only hugging an empty vessel. We told him we loved him, we thanked him for being our dog and we quietly gathered our things to leave.
Miss Goofy let them know we were finished with our good-byes and we made our way to the SUV. It felt weird to drive away and leave him. I know he is much better off now. I know keeping him alive would have been torturous to him. It still hurts us though.
He was six weeks old when we got him. A big furry, fuzzy, rompy, barking puppy who we could tell was going to be enormous. He was such a sweet dog though. And without more than a stump for a tail. He was the first dog I'd ever had. And I had always been afraid of big dogs. All signs pointed to him being huge.
The first couple of weeks it was just he and I during the day, while Music Man worked and Miss Goofy was in first grade. I'd sit on one end of the couch and he'd jump up on the other end and bark at me. I had no idea what he wanted, I just knew those first weeks it scared the crap out of me when he did that. Not just the noise of his bark in my quiet house but I didn't know what he wanted. Part of me feared he might try to bite me.
I'd get up and take him outside. He'd go running to play and I'd go back inside. He'd be back at the door within a minute, barking to come back inside with me.
Eventually we figured out how to play together. And I even looked forward to my time alone with him. He was a great listener. He'd just nap on my foot while I chattered away about whatever was bothering me.
He'd jump on the bed at bedtime and take over Music Man's side, snuggling into me when he did. Until Music Man finally could convince him to get down.
A year ago we took him to the vet, he had blood in his urine. She was so kind and caring, we knew when the time came and it was necessary to have him put down, she was the one we wanted to do it. She was the reason we had another year with him. She prepared us for the day we'd have to come back and we wouldn't bring him home. She knew it was coming but also that we weren't ready. Like I said, she gave us another year with him.
The last six months, he's been in a lot of pain. He stopped playing and mostly barked. He'd started showing signs of dementia, where he'd lose us and get scared. He wouldn't eat much. He lost a lot of weight, probably forty-five pounds. He'd been about 120. He had trouble sleeping. He didn't even want comfort anymore.
It was time.
RIP Courage. We love you. Thank you for being our dog.
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