It Was Time

I woke up this morning and looked at the time. 8:41. Time to get started on what was sure to be a difficult day.

Music Man and Miss Goofy were already up and on the back porch with our dog, Courage. I dressed quickly and began getting ready to leave the house.

Miss Goofy came in and told me the time frame for leaving the house. I nodded and kept working. Music Man had breakfast and so did Miss Goofy. I ate just before walking out the door. Music Man walked Courage and Miss Goofy got in the back of our SUV. I pulled the truck forward so Courage didn't have as far to walk. Music Man brought him to the back of the vehicle and lifted him into the back. I was proud of Courage for not completely freaking out and panicking.

The drive to the vet took much less time than we had anticipated. We were a half hour early.

I waited in the truck while Music Man and Miss Goofy went inside to discuss what was going to happen and how best to get Courage into an exam room.

Courage panted a lot. He was a little cold and a lot scared. I told him stories about the Elysian Fields. Yes, I know they were reserved for humans related to gods and other heroes. I also know it was expanded to include humans chosen by gods. I'd like to think dogs would have loved romping and playing in some place like that. I know Courage would have loved to run and jump and chase rabbits there.

Music Man and Miss Goofy came out to the truck and we got Courage out and standing so he could go pee. We even got him into the exam room with little difficulty.

The vet, an incredibly sweet lady, with such a good way with animals and a tender heart, and her equally helpful vet tech, came into the exam room. We discussed costs and what was going to happen. After a few minutes another tech came inside, she had the syringe for the sedation.

The vet warned us, it was the part that would hurt. Courage didn't cry or struggle, he did look a bit annoyed though. The tech and vet left the room while they waited for it to take effect. We hugged Courage and told him we loved him. We told him we didn't want him to hurt anymore.

The vet and tech returned and carefully scooted him around. The vet shaved part of his paw and they began the final injection. Music Man and Miss Goofy pet him and loved on him while I could only stand and watch as the fluid left the syringe and flowed into our beloved dog.

He had been such a joy to have.

He stopped breathing before the injection was finished. The vet waited a couple of minutes after she finished the injection and then listened for a heartbeat. When she was satisfied there was none, she handed the stethoscope to her tech who listened and after a minute she was also satisfied.

The vet was even choked up as she injected Courage. Finally, the two women stood and told us we could stay as long as we wanted. We all hugged him again, knowing he wasn't hurting anymore and we were only hugging an empty vessel.  We told him we loved him, we thanked him for being our dog and we quietly gathered our things to leave.

Miss Goofy let them know we were finished with our good-byes and we made our way to the SUV. It felt weird to drive away and leave him. I know he is much better off now. I know keeping him alive would have been torturous to him. It still hurts us though.

He was six weeks old when we got him. A big furry, fuzzy, rompy, barking puppy who we could tell was going to be enormous. He was such a sweet dog though. And without more than a stump for a tail. He was the first dog I'd ever had. And I had always been afraid of big dogs. All signs pointed to him being huge.

The first couple of weeks it was just he and I during the day, while Music Man worked and Miss Goofy was in first grade. I'd sit on one end of the couch and he'd jump up on the other end and bark at me. I had no idea what he wanted, I just knew those first weeks it scared the crap out of me when he did that. Not just the noise of his bark in my quiet house but I didn't know what he wanted. Part of me feared he might try to bite me.

I'd get up and take him outside. He'd go running to play and I'd go back inside. He'd be back at the door within a minute, barking to come back inside with me.

Eventually we figured out how to play together. And I even looked forward to my time alone with him. He was a great listener. He'd just nap on my foot while I chattered away about whatever was bothering me.

He'd jump on the bed at bedtime and take over Music Man's side, snuggling into me when he did. Until Music Man finally could convince him to get down.

A year ago we took him to the vet, he had blood in his urine. She was so kind and caring, we knew when the time came and it was necessary to have him put down, she was the one we wanted to do it. She was the reason we had another year with him. She prepared us for the day we'd have to come back and we wouldn't bring him home. She knew it was coming but also that we weren't ready. Like I said, she gave us another year with him.

The last six months, he's been in a lot of pain. He stopped playing and mostly barked. He'd started showing signs of dementia, where he'd lose us and get scared. He wouldn't eat much. He lost a lot of weight, probably forty-five pounds. He'd been about 120. He had trouble sleeping. He didn't even want comfort anymore.

It was time.

RIP Courage. We love you. Thank you for being our dog.

Progress As Promised

Before I moved to Oklahoma there were a lot of campaign promises made to the residents of Tulsa. One of the major ones had to do with fixing the roads. They were really bad. Nothing was getting done though, even after the elections and everyone had settled into their offices.

So people began calling the city and complaining that nothing was getting done about the roads. It was a huge deal.

Shortly before I moved, signs went up all over town and then they started fixing the roads. All of them. At once. Someone was annoyed with all the calls. And what did the signs say you ask?

Progress as promised.

Ah! Oklahoma, I miss you some days.  Not when you have tornadoes but you know.

So, I told that story just to explain the title of this post. And to say, I have a NaNo update.

If you look at my sidebar, you'll see that I have days where I have written nothing. Then I have other days where I have written a ton. For example, the 21st was rather productive for me.

That said, this morning, I needed to get 8,115 words written by midnight on the 30th. In the last three days I've written over 13,000 words. I think I can do it. :)

My goal for this year is to finish on the 26th. That's Wednesday. And that's 2,705 words per day. I'm fairly confident I can accomplish that before midnight on Wednesday. I'd make Tuesday my goal but I have some other stuff to do today and tomorrow and I don't want to overload myself. Though if I reach it tomorrow, I'll make sure everyone knows.

Happy Thanksgiving and have a great week!

Good Morning!

This week is a little odd. I'm at my sister's house for, not sure how long to be honest.

Music Man is starting a new job today. We came down last week so he could do some paperwork and we could get some shopping done. When made it home, though we had issues with our car. We've had a Saturn for about 12 years now. I love my Saturn. It's been an awesome car. It's been to the Central Coast of California several times, it's made two trips to Oklahoma and back to California. Plus all the trips from my mountain town to the bigger town.

It's starting to lose an engine bearing and it's got an overheating issue. Oh and a blown head gasket. I think we're going to retire her very soon.

That said, this comes on the heels of the Expedition we bought last Christmas losing it's transmission. It's been on the brink of going since we bought it and it finally happened. In fact, the transmission on the truck went out the second to the last time I came down the mountain. So either I'm not supposed to come down that mountain or we're not supposed to go back up the mountain. Personally, I'm thinking it's the second one cause these things keep happening on the way home.

So, my very kind sister offered the use of one of her cars. That does however mean we need to be based out of their home for now cause her cars won't make it up the mountain either. Hopefully we can get the truck fixed quickly and be able to head home. In the meantime, I'm very grateful to my sister and her family.

NaNoWriMo is going pretty well. I've hit a few snaggy spots where I've been stumped but I'm actually a little ahead of where I need to be or I will be at the end of the day, so it's going pretty well. Last night would have been the Night of Writing Dangerously and I wish I could have attended. I had a lot of fun last year but this year it just wasn't going to happen. Maybe next year!

That's all the news from here, so, what's happening in your life this week?

I Still Have An Hour To Post This On Monday!

Okay, so I have to make this fast cause it will be Tuesday in just over an hour.

So NaNoWriMo began on Saturday and I've been working on a new novel. I'm working hard on it, or at the very least, I did over the weekend. Today, not so much. I really need to work on schoolwork too.

I did pass my HTML project and the test classes. So that's good, right? Now I just have to pass my A+ certs.

In other news, Music Man will be beginning a new job on the 17th. It means he'll have to drive down the mountain but hey, employment is a good thing.

Okay so my daily word count will be in the sidebar. I'm keeping track of it and plan to every day.

If you're not familiar with what NaNoWriMo is, it's National Novel Writing Month. You spend 30 days working to write a 50,000 word novel. It's a lot of work. There's days where you question whether it's something you can do. There's days where you're sure you can't do it. There's days where you'd rather beat your head on the wall than write another word.

That's where catching little phrases like, "The world needs your novel" run through the mind. I first attempted NaNoWriMo in 2012. I'd wanted to do it for years but that was the first year, I actually remembered in time.

It was one of the most difficult, challenging yet rewarding goals of my life. It was a lot of work. I was occasionally (okay, often) cranky. I didn't want to stop in the middle of a thought so dinner was late, Music Man went to bed alone, the cat meowed cause he hadn't had nummies and the dog danced cause he really needed a walk.

I drank a lot of coffee and Mt. Dew. I snacked more than I should have.

I also wrote more than 50,000 words.

Then I did it again in 2013.

So my plan for November of 2014? I'm going for the threepeat!

So what are you doing for November?

Lately I've Been...

So what have I been up to lately? Well...

• schoolwork (I have an A+ certification soon, plus a project where I design my own website. I really should be doing schoolwork right now.)
• wearing my hat to root for my team.

Go Dodgers!

• watching an adorable little dog run around like a maniac.
• grocery shopping.
• figuring out how my new bread machine works.
• trying to find time to write.
• buying a planner so hopefully I can start getting things done on time, like this blog for example.

So what have you been up to lately? Anything new and exciting? 

If not, then why not? If so, keep it up! Go live your life!

So I Created This...

A few weeks ago, Miss Goofy sent me to a website. This site for those interested.

It's a pretty cool site. And today this came in the mail:

If you can't read it, it says, "Will code for cash". So, yeah, that's the goal. Coding for cash. That's why I'm spending a fortune on education. That and what else am I going to do?

Okay, I'll talk to you all next week!

Surprise Blog Cause Idiots Annoy Me and I Have To Get This Out of My Head

It's not Monday. It's Wednesday. Which means I should be updating my schooling blog. However, this isn't a normal post. I hope to get back to doing those a week from Monday. In the meantime, I have to vent and since this is my blog and the person about which I am going to be speaking is not likely to ever read this or even know themselves if they do stumble upon this, I'll complete my thoughts here.

I've had to step away from a debate into which I was drawn. It was on my niece's facebook page and while I don't normally like getting into all the drama, this was a debate that I thought I would enjoy. And I was. The topic isn't as important as the debate itself.

I thought I was debating with someone who was going to really debate an issue and discuss an important news item. My niece had posted something to her wall and he had been the first to comment. I agreed with nearly everything the guy said except one point. I made my comment and shortly thereafter, he replied. I again made my point, using different logic and verbiage. He again replied with a long response designed to correct my opinion. Not change my mind, correct me.

I responded again with a new point. He again used the same tired argument. And again told me I was wrong.

Now, if you know me personally, you know I hate to be told I'm wrong. Show me proof of an error and I will own up to it and tell you I was mistaken, even wrong. But don't tell me my opinion is wrong. Especially since the topic is about something unlikely to ever occur.

The great thing about debate is looking for facts to support your argument. I love doing that. In fact, (Music Man you might want to skip this sentence) I occasionally choose an opposing side from my husband just so we can debate an issue.

The problem occurs when you debate with someone who 1)"writes off" your opinion/statements, 2) repeats the same argument with no evidence they are correct, 3) tells you "you're wrong" but doesn't offer proof, 4) and finally says "the only way to fix this is...".

If you want to debate with someone, by all means do so. I would only ask that you pay attention to what the other person says, don't dismiss a statement because it's different than your opinion. And don't dismiss it because you think it's a statement that is abstract.

Next, don't keep repeating the same argument you heard on talk radio. That alone will irritate the crud out of me but when all you can do is repeat what some radio talk show host said, you're not really thinking, you're mimicking. Think about what you're going to say, show proof, you might change someone's mind.

Don't tell someone their opinion is wrong unless you have proof. For example, if someone tells you the house is on fire but there's no fire anywhere in the building, they're wrong. If they tell you they think orange juice is too bitter, don't tell them they're wrong, just say you disagree or prove why the juice is sweet.

The last thing you should ever say is "the only way to fix this is..." It might be the best way, it might be the only way you see as working, it might be the way that is most cost effective or makes the most logical and logistical sense, but it's seldom the only way to fix something. Using that phrase makes you think you sound intelligent, like you understand the problem and are offering an honest solution. What I hear when those words are spoken is "my solution is the only one that I'm willing to discuss and your opinion doesn't matter."

Oh, and when your solution is the same one every radio talk host spews, I also hear, "I have no creativity and I'm too lazy to research this and see if there's a more plausible solution."

And now back to your regularly scheduled evening...

Short Break

Life seems to be getting in the way at the moment. I need to take a short break and deal with a few issues. I promise, I'll be back soon.

New Week, New Plans

Well, this is the first week I'm not planning to go down the mountain twice. I know I didn't last week either but last week my planning involved what to do after a funeral and what to serve for luncheon. This week without the chaos of planning and cleaning, I'm trying to take things a little easier. I've tidied my desk area, so I can hopefully study. And I spent yesterday napping and resting with Music Man who had a touch of the flu. I was kind of hoping he'd still be sick this morning so he could stay home with me again, but sadly he felt better and went to work.

I still have the Grouchy Old Man home during the day. He and Miss Goofy are sanding this morning. I'm kind of glad I'm hiding in my bedroom. However, everyone loved what we're doing to the kitchen and agreed it will look wonderful when we get it done.

I think for this week, I'm going to try and take things a little slowly, spend some time with Miss Goofy and Grouchy and make sure they're doing okay. Otherwise, back to the books and of course prepping for the holidays.

Have a great week and go LIVE!

Heavy Heart, Happy Memories

It's with a heavy heart that I say Grandma passed away on Friday morning. I'm glad I got to see her on Thursday and I'm glad I had told Miss Goofy that she needed to wait to see Grandma until she looked like she was feeling better. She needs to remember Grandma happy and alive, just as I do. 

The funeral is planned for Saturday morning and I'm hoping to speak at it. Sadly this is not the first time I've done this and with any luck it won't be the last. I still have a lot of living to do.

So in trying to think of what to say at the funeral I've been thinking about Grandma and the influence she had on me. All the wonderful times we had. All the laughter and happiness. She was a feisty woman and I hope people will think I inherited some of that.

From my grandmother I learned: 1) life is too short to take it seriously, 2) always tell your loved ones you love them, 3) family is the most important thing in your life, 4) no matter how serious a situation, laughter makes it easier to deal with, 5) history and travel go together and are important, and finally 6) bad grammar will drive you nuts if you let it. ;)

She wasn't perfect but she loved me and was proud of me. The only thing I wish she could have seen was me getting a college degree. However, I will work hard and even though she won't be there in person, I know she'll be there in spirit.

I love you, Grandma. Rest in Peace.

Have a great week and remember, life is short, go live yours!

A Day Late But I Had a Good Reason

I know, I was supposed to update yesterday. I may have to change my posting schedule for this blog to Tuesdays for a while.

I do have a good reason for my update being late. I was at the hospital yesterday with Grandma. My uncle needed to run home, shower, change clothes and generally, get out of the hospital for a few minutes.  It was kind of cool to spend several hours with Grandma and my sister though.

Grandma slept most of the time, she still hurts some when they turn her onto her side and it breaks my heart to hear her saying "Ow, ow, ow". But she's a tough lady and getting through it.

This last week it's been a challenge to get stuff done but I'm hoping by restarting a daily list of activities I can keep better track of things and stuff like house-cleaning, food prep and general hygiene won't fall by the way side.

I'm still looking forward to going to my writing thing in November. And I'm looking forward to having a bit of time to write. Not sure when that will happen, but I'm sure it will eventually.

Today is day 1 for the government shutdown, which means the grouchy old man will be home, probably around lunchtime, for an indefinite period of time. Yet another reason for a daily activity list. I hope this doesn't last too long, not only is bad for my dad financially and emotionally, cause let's face it, it's a pretty helpless feeling he's going through, but it's also bad for the economy and business. Okay, political rant done.

So, today is just a casual day to get caught up on everything that has gone undone the last few days and weeks. Mostly stuff like vacuuming, dusting and I have a ton of laundry to do today.

I'm going to see Grandma again on Thursday and will update if anything dramatic happens.

Have a great week and go live!

My Week in a Blur

That title really pretty much expresses the past week. A whole lot of nothing has gone on.

My grandma is still in the hospital. She was doing better but has regressed a bit. They're not sure what's happening but she's having trouble swallowing. Today they're putting a feeding tube in so, yeah, kind of time for prayers and positive thoughts. I'm going to see her tomorrow.

This morning I have Music Man working from home. Mainly cause his phone has been ringing off the hook since 6:45 this morning when the first crisis hit. It's pretty much been nonstop since then.

Not sure what else to talk about today. It just seems to be one of those days where lots is happening but nothing is happening. So I think I'll end my update here for now. If something happens later, I'll update again.

Have a great week and go live!

What A Week!

So, it's been a crazy week. Last Monday I was prepared for our water to go off (again) but they pushed it back till Tuesday. It was off for most of Tuesday. That was annoying.

Wednesday, Grandma went to the ER. She's been in pain for weeks and finally my uncle was told to take her to the ER. Probably the wisest choice her doctor could make. The hospital here in my mountain town sent her to city to be looked at by a team of doctors. The hospital they sent her to is one of the best in the nation. They're working to figure out what is wrong and how to fix it. Though her color is getting better and her spirits are improving.

Thursday I had to be in the city for a test for school, (I passed, yay me!) so I went by in the afternoon to visit with Grandma. I'm pretty proud of that pass since previously I would have fallen apart and not been able to do anything knowing Grandma was in the hospital. The fact that I went ahead and not only took the test but passed tells me how much better I am doing.

Friday was one of those days I don't really remember. I think it went fine. I think the water was off again.

Saturday Music Man changed the serpentine belt and oil in the car. It's running much better now. Poor car. It's run so well for so long. Then we went and did the grocery shopping I needed to get done.

Sunday we goofed off and relaxed most of the day. Then we discovered yet again the water was off. This game has gotten old. When the water finally came on last night, it was full of dirt and mud. I so love this game. Oh wait, no I don't.

So for today, I'm prepared for the water to go off again, I'm sure there's a problem somewhere they need to fix. I'm hoping to hear a definitive answer on what's wrong with Grandma. And I'm starting a new class for school This one will be a little bit of everything and will include another certification. Oh that's the other thing about Saturday. CompTIA posted my certification. So now, you can go to the website and verify that I'm certified in Project +. Kind of cool.

Off to study and possibly clean my desk. It's a mess.

Have a great week and go live your life!

Holy Crap It's An On Time Update!

As I write this I'm listening to Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me" so please keep in mind this post should be read while grooving.

So, let's start with the most recent happenings and go backward. Maybe I can reconstruct it in my mind then.

I went over and stayed with Grandma for about an hour and half while grocery shopping was accomplished by my uncle and cousin. She was fairly cheerful and even smiled at me. She's hurting a lot right now and hopefully the doctor will have some answers this week.

Saturday, we rested. And by rested I mean took a really long nap.

Friday we didn't have water after about 10:30. Nearly 13 hours later, it was back on. Seriously, if anyone knows how to handle this stuff for a trailer park, message me and I'll contact you for more info.

Thursday. What happened on Thursday? Hmm, oh, right I spent Wednesday and Thursday anticipating the water going off for three hours cause that's the day and times the notices gave. Never went off. 10:30 Friday morning it's off. No notice for Friday, and when I called at 3 in the afternoon the manager told me an hour or an hour and a half. Last time I checked 11 at night was 8 hours later.

Wednesday I decided to start walking in anticipation of the Night of Writing Dangerously. So, I'm feeling pretty good about that decision. I took the weekend off in hopes of letting my body heal a bit. Seemed to work, I feel pretty good today after my walk. I didn't walk as far as I did on Friday but I got out and did it.

I don't really remember before Wednesday so I'll just stop there.

Coming up this week, I have my first certification test. No I'm not ready as of today but I plan to be by Thursday morning at 10.

I plan to walk everyday this week and I even plan to add in yoga and squats. Oh yeah, I'm tired of being well, fat.

And I'm hoping this week's weigh-in will include a weight loss instead of a gain.

Have a great week and I'll blog more on Wednesday on my Schooling blog.

Updates on Mondays...Yeah Right

This is still a more frequent post than you're used to, right?

So, what's new in my neck of the woods?

Well, Grandma is still having knee issues. Hopefully we'll hear an update soon and will know how to proceed. Love that woman to pieces, but getting her to drink enough water is a battle!

Let's see what else? Oh, thanks to some incredible donations, I have achieved my fundraising goal and have submitted my RSVP for the Night of Writing Dangerously. I'm super excited to be doing this and am very much looking forward to November. I definitely need to start planning out a story to work on in November cause now that I've won NaNoWriMo once, I'll be damned if I don't keep doing it.

Had a lovely spur of the moment weekend away with Music Man. It was heavenly. We spent a lot of time snuggled up and chatting. We even managed to get a 3 hour nap in. It was awesome.

Oh, I know the other big news. We started to remodel our kitchen. We took out a wall and it's really opened the room. Now the living, former dining and kitchen are all airy and open. I'm looking forward to getting it done. I'll have to post pictures next week.

Well, I think that's all the news for now. Keep Grandma in your thoughts and prayers.

Have a great week!

My Life Since Friday

Okay, so on Friday, I decided I would stay updating this blog, and two others, one for weight loss and for school. This morning, I actually remembered I needed to update this blog. Yay for me!

Not a lot has really happened since Friday but I've decided that I will start telling the story of my 27 month journey through temporary insanity. Otherwise known as: The Time I Lost My Mind and Moved To Oklahoma. Not today though. I'll start that story next week. This week, I wanted to update on what I'm planning to write in future updates. Try saying that three times fast. Okay, not really it was way more of a challenge in my brain to write that sentence than to say it out loud.

Changing the subject now.

July 20th, my sister and her husband came through my mountain town on their way to Vegas. We decided to meet up and have breakfast at Denny's. It was about 6:30 when Music Man and I picked up my grandma and took her with us. The Grumpy Old Man, (aka technically my stepfather, but I've called him Dad for years) and Miss Goofy had gone ahead of us and gotten a table for the seven of us. We were all pretty excited.

Shortly before 7, Sissy (in some adorable shoes, by the way) and her hubby, insert clever nickname here, arrived. We ate and chatted all of us excited to get to see each other as it had been quite a while since Sissy had been able to see Grandma and The Grumpy Old Man. Grandma laughed a lot and was quite happy to see everyone. Sissy giggled with me, Grandma and Miss Goofy. Fun was had by all.

That got us thinking though and we made a decision and vow to start having Grandma over for breakfast on weekends. Just a fun way to have her over so she gets out of the house for a bit and we get to check on her and see how she's doing. She's come over 2 weekends now. The first weekend after Sissy's visit we were busy and didn't have a chance to have her over. Weekend before last, Miss Goofy and I spent all day Saturday cooking and weren't up to making breakfast on Sunday. So twice we've had her over and plan to have her over this weekend too. I'll try to remember to take some pictures.

I love the fact that she's just five or six houses down from me. She takes a walk nearly everyday and at least once a week, she walks up to my house just to check in and say hi. I love that she's close enough to do that. It makes my heart so happy. She is a treasure and one I don't think I properly appreciated until I was 1400 miles away. I missed her greatly and I'm extremely thankful I'm back home where I can spend time with her.

I know there's lots more news but this post is getting a bit long and I frankly, I have schoolwork to do.

More updates next week, including The Time I Lost My Mind and Moved To Oklahoma, part 1.

NaNoWriMo and My Story

I had a lot happen in my childhood. Don't worry this isn't a crying session, this is a post about healing.

After my dad passed away, I was terrified. Who was going to protect me from the world? My strong Daddy was gone and I was left all alone. Okay, I had my mom, who was incredibly strong. And my sister, who I love dearly cause she's always supporting me. And my grandparents, who have always loved me unconditionally. So there were a lot of people who would protect me. At nearly 13 I couldn't really see that though.

I started having problems with school attendance in 2nd grade. Not a story I'm going to get into here, but it did start way before my dad passed, with time it only got worse.

At 13, I remember my mom driving me to school and parking. I remember taking a deep breath and getting out of the car. I remember walking to the front of the car and not being able to force myself to cross the street to go to school. I remember feeling panicked and like if I didn't go back home, something awful would happen. I remember being so afraid to leave the house, I couldn't walk out the door.

It's gotten worse over the years. I try so hard to get out and do things. Some days it's easy and like nothing bad ever happened. Some days though, it's like just stepping outside to check to see if it's hot is more than I can handle. I don't know why this happens or when it's going to, I just know some days, I can't go anywhere.

The more time I have to prepare for an event, the worse I get. That's why I'm sharing this now.

NaNoWriMo takes place in November. NaNoWriMo is an acronym for National Novel Writing Month. You spend the month of November writing a novel or 50,000 words. It's something I'd wanted to participate in for several years. Last November I did. Not only did I participate, I was a winner. I wrote more than 50,000 words in the month of November. It was hard work. It required a lot of time and thought. It was one of the most rewarding moments of my life when I hit the 50,000 word mark.

Recently, I got an email inviting me to participate in a fundraising event for the non-profit that puts on NaNoWriMo. All the money raised from this event goes to The Office of Letters and Light, the parent non-profit that does NaNoWriMo. This is a great non-profit that helps bring writing programs to schools and to adults. It's making a huge difference in my life as it has in many other people's lives.

I'm raising $350 so that I can go in November to San Francisco for a six hour writing event. Last year there were over 200 people who went. There are panels with published authors and publishers. There's food and drinks. There's raffle prizes. But most of all there's people. Lots of people. It's a wonderful networking opportunity but again, lots of people.

I'm terrified. I can do this, I know I can. But it's going to take a lot of strength to go to this event. I have a good support system and am very blessed. Yet still terrified.

This is the link to donate if you have the ability: Send Micki to The City.

If you can't donate money, but want to encourage me, go ahead and leave me a message in the comments.

Thanks for all the support!

How I Know I Have the Best Husband Ever

I have the best husband in the world.  And I know some of you will argue your husband is better but before we get into the debate, I'd like to lay out my reasons for thinking he's the best.

• He makes me coffee in the morning and frequently I don't even have to ask.  
• Why it matters: I don't always want coffee.  He always asks and if I seem undecided, he makes it for me anyway.  Then if I don't want coffee, he doesn't get mad
• He calls me when he's leaving work.
• Why it matters: Right now we have one working vehicle.  He calls to ask if I need anything from the store.  If I do he always cheerfully picks it up and brings it home.  If I don't then he still happily comes home to me.  
• The other reason it matters: He knows I like to have dinner about ready for him when he gets home.  By calling me, I know whether to slow dinner down or speed it up.
• He calls me from work and/or IM's with me throughout the day.
• Why it matters: I know this would annoy the crud out of some women but he's not just my husband, he's also my best friend.  We chat and tease each other all day long.  If one of us is having a rough day, the other is there to life them up.  I can always count on him to lift my spirits.
• He works. Hard.  Frequently at a job he doesn't really like.
• Why it matters: I'm a stay at home wife and we both really like that.  He supports us financially.  And while occasionally things are tight, and it would be much easier if I worked too, he never asks me to get a job.  If I wanted to work outside our home, he'd support my decision and would do whatever I needed to help out but he'd never ask me to.
• When I'm having a precursor to a bad day as described in a previous post, he comes home, hugs me, tells me he loves me and kisses me.
• Why it matters: He's ready to be loving and affectionate no matter how cranky or snarly I am.  And when that bad day finally materializes?  He holds me while I cry and not only tells me it's okay, but makes me believe it too.
• No matter what I do or say, he's there.
• Why it matters: I'm not an easy person to live with.  I accept that about myself.  So does he.  Enough said about that.
• His values are the same as mine.
• Why it matters: Although it may sometimes seem that work is a priority to him, that's not true.  Family is the priority and that sometimes means he puts what he wants to do aside, so he can provide for me.  He put his desire to move to Oklahoma on hold for eleven years because of familial obligations.  Before we moved, he asked me if I needed to stay longer.
• He lets me hold the remote.
• Why it matters:  I have control issues.  He knows that and while he occasionally holds the remote to annoy me, he frequently lets me hold it.  In return, I try to turn on things I know he likes to watch.
• He senses my mood and changes his behavior accordingly.
• Why it matters:  Notice I didn't say he does whatever it takes to appease me.  I said he changes his behavior.  Sometimes that means making me angry until I blow up.  I feel better afterward though.  Sometimes it means talking about things that hurt me until I cry.  Though after a good cry with him holding me, I feel refreshed and don't hurt.  Sometimes it means teasing me until I lighten up and laugh.  I think that's self explanatory.
• He encourages the child in me to come out and play.
• Why it matters:  I have fond memories of my childhood.  I also have terrible memories of my childhood.  At times I grew up way too fast.  He lets me be the little girl I didn't always get to be.
• He does chores around the house.
• Why it matters: I'm not always the best housekeeper and I know it.  However, he is always more than willing to help me out and do what he can around the house.  If I ask him to do something he does it.  Not the way I would but it gets done and really isn't that what matters?
• He loves me when I'm happy and childlike, he loves me when I'm on the warpath, he loves me when I collapse in tears.  He loves me.
• Why it matters:  His love is unconditional.  I feel accepted and cherished.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.  Next I'll try to do a posting about what I do in return for him.

Facebook Status

This was my facebook status at one point today:

Did you know that the people that seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive?  Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time is usually the one that needs it the most? ~ Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: I love you, I'm sorry and Help me?  Put this as your status if you agree...Not easy huh?

This was an especially poignant status for me.  It was posted by my cousin Lynn.  (*waves into cyberspace "Hi Lynn")

It reminded me a lot of my mother.  She spent a lot of time taking care of me, my sister, my dad when he was sick, and even my grandparents.  She took so much on and it was so hard for her to say she needed help.  I wish she had said a little more often.  I know she felt like she didn't have any other choice, if she didn't do it who would?

I do wonder if she would have lived longer if she'd asked for help more often, instead of always shouldering the load alone.  I have a tendency to do the same thing but I also tend to fall apart and ask for help.  I have a wonderful husband and daughter who usually know I'm about to crumble about three days before I do.  They spend those three days poking at me.  Not trying to help, not trying to get me to open up about whatever is stressing me out. Poking at me.  It sends me over the edge, I cry, I get mad, I stop talking to them.  I generally behave like an idiot.

And then I do what I should have done all along and talk to them. I am getting better about it.  I'm learning to talk before they start poking me.  I'm learning when they start poking it's time to figure out what's wrong and try to fix it rather than contemplating carrying around a rolling pin to bash over their heads.

Basically, I'm a work in progress.  And that's okay.  As long as I'm working on it.

So the next time a family member, a friend, a loved one is being incredibly strong, taking care of everyone else, maybe just reach out and take care of them for a minute.  Offer a hug, make them dinner, sit with a sick  relative or just pray for them.  You'd be surprised what a difference you might make.

Quiz Answers

So how did you like the quiz? I know it was a challenge but I did say it was obscure lyric Saturday. Don't be discouraged if you had trouble, no one got all the songs. I'm looking at ideas for the next one. Some of them include a single artist and multiple choice for the answers. If you have any thoughts or suggestions please send them my way.

Okay so the way these songs were chosen was I put my entire iTunes library on shuffle and pushed play. After filtering out music without vocals, these were the first 20 songs that played.

And now for the answers:

1. Talk about stacked. They're both chrome.

"Hello, I'm a Truck" by Red Simpson

2. You got to grab onto my belt if you wanna be free.

"Love Injection" by Bang Tango

3. There's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin.

"Piano Man" by Billy Joel

4. Can I take you out to the picture show?

"Maxwell's Silver Hammer" by The Beatles

5. Where was the passion when you need it the most?

"Bad Day" by Daniel Powter

6. Don't let this old gold cross in this Crimson Tide t-shirt throw ya

"Southern Voice" by Tim McGraw

7. Isn't it nice to know good will conquer evil?

"No One Mourns the Wicked" by Kristen Chenoweth, from the musical "Wicked"

8. And right now they're building a coffin your size

"Mama" by My Chemical Romance

9. Burn through Mississippi with the Big Easy on my mind

"New Orleans" by Kid Rock

10. I'm your dream, make it real. I'm your eyes when you must steal

"Sad but True" by Metallica

11. Turn off the lights and I'll glow

"Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice

12. And I've made myself a world and it's worked so perfectly

"Shameless" by Billy Joel (he wrote the song and recorded it 2 years before Garth Brooks recorded it)

13. You're crying me a river but I've got to get across

"The Other Side" by Aerosmith

14. Those seven deadly sins are wicked for sure, Jack's got those plus eleven more!

"Black Jack Slim's Cutthroat Inn" by The Jolly Rogers

15. You believe but what you see, you receive but what you give

"Amaranth" by Nightwish

16. Your jokes ain't funny and there's nothing you say that I wanna hear

"Get the F*ck Out" by Skid Row

17. A tongue as sharp as a razor but she had a fancy car

"Helmethead" by Great Big Sea

18. You can kiss me with the windows open while the rain comes pouring inside

"This Kiss" by Faith Hill

19. I'll push his love far away from me

"We Can Be Together" by Debbie Gibson

20. I stayed the cold day with a lonely satellite

"New Moon on Monday" by Duran Duran.