This Week's Post on Evening Coffee...

I woke up this morning and got my desk cleaned up for Music Man. He had a test for school and needed the room and my desk. I kindly got things ready for him.

After his test, I was working on something and realized I forgot to weigh in this morning. I was horrified. How could I update my weight loss blog when I didn't weigh in? I decided I'd weigh in tomorrow and then do the update. Yes, it would be a day late but at least I would have done it.

Yeah, then I looked at my to do list and realized I don't weigh in until Monday and I was updating this blog today, not my weight loss blog. Oops.

Went to Costco with the Cranky Old Man yesterday. You know, he has actually been in fairly good spirits lately. Kind of scary. I  may have to change his name on here.

Anyway Costco was fun. Well, as much fun as buying a ton of meat can be. On the plus side, my freezer is nicely stocked now. And I have a ton of awesome food that can be made into healthy meals for us. Down side, I have a ton of healthy food. Just kidding.

Miss Goofy may revolt and refuse to eat anything we make. At least as soon as she has a more steady, better paying job she may. She has an interview tomorrow morning, so here's hoping she gets it. It would make her really happy if she got it.

That's really everything here. I'm trying to stay away from hot button topic like the elections and the young man from Stanford. I just think it's better to not offer an opinion on either of those topics right now.

Have a great week and remember when someone starts spouting off, they are entitled to their opinion, no matter how wrong they are. ;)

Melting

It went from upper 70's to 90's in the past week on my mountain. I am not happy about it.

I am melting. And so is my computer. Poor thing.

In other news I went down the mountain with the Cranky Old Man earlier this week and we stocked our freezer. We now have enough meat for probably 2 maybe 3 months. That's a huge blessing to me.

He wants to go again next week and I'm all for it. Stock that freezer!

Music Man and I normally do that but we had two freezers die on us this past year, in fact within weeks of each other so we were a little gun shy of that one. But if Cranky Old Man is willing to buy the food and is confident of the freezer we got to replace the other two, okay, I'll shop.

Miss Goofy put a job application in with a hardware store. We'll see how that goes.

Oh, and I'm listening to Weird Al ad nauseam. I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before Music Man snaps and throws his stapler at me. It's an old Swingline stapler so it's pretty heavy. Must practice ducking.

Oh and Miss Goofy is taking an online class. It's only 3 weeks. We're at the end of week 2. She's complained a lot about not being able to get schoolwork done. I have to laugh at that.

Well, I'm off to do some of my schoolwork. Have a great week!

Update on Music Man's Knee

Or as I like to call it: The Never Ending Quest for Less Ouch

Music Man had a doctor's appointment yesterday. We are no longer seeing the cattle call that was Dr. E's office. We are now seeing a doctor I will call Dr. F.

I'm not really creative about names, I used E, for the first doctor cause his last name starts with an E. I'm using F for the new doctor cause his name starts with an F. Funny enough, Dr. F gave us a referral to go see his colleague, Dr. G, cause his name starts with a G. This is going to get really fun soon. Hoping for a referral to see a Dr. H in the city down my mountain. That would be too awesome.

Anyway, despite Facebook saying he was headed for surgery, he's not. Dr. F wants us to see Dr. G because Dr. G is a specialist in non-surgical treatments. So instead of another surgery, we're looking at some injections. Hopefully they will bring the swelling down and help relieve some of the pain.

On the down side, he will more than likely need at least two additional surgeries. He does have multiple tears in his meniscus on both sides, as well as debris the size of a marble. And some unexplained fluid. More than likely he'll wind up with a knee replacement at some point in time.

For now though, no surgery. Injections that sound painful, and a weight loss plan.

Oh yeah, we're getting serious about this now.

Okay, off to menu plan and look for places to schedule gym time.

Have a great week!

Long Week

Last Saturday morning I awoke to learn my great aunt Nori had passed away the previous night. I was very saddened to hear this. She was such a wonderful woman and I have so many memories of her.

Her funeral was yesterday. I didn't go.

For some time now I've been sort of known as the woman who goes to funerals. It's been true if there's a funeral I'm there. To be supportive of the family and loved ones, to mourn, to say good-bye. I've been to somewhere between 10 and 12 funerals since my mother passed away 9 years ago. That's a lot of funerals. That's a lot of mourning. That's a lot of support for my friends and family.

In fairness, several of those funerals were for people close to me. My mother, my great uncle, my grandfather, my grandmother, another great uncle. My mother would say they're dropping like flies. I say this began with my mother's passing but it actually goes back to November of 2005 when my father-in-law passed.

All that said, I just couldn't make myself go to another funeral this time. I loved Nori. She was one of the nicest women I ever knew. She made me feel like I could do anything. I miss her.

It wasn't that long ago that I went to Aunt Nori's husband's funeral. At the time, I remember thinking that it would be weird to go to things and not see Uncle Jack anymore. That I knew how much losing a dad hurt.

Tuesday I knew I couldn't go to the funeral. I just couldn't go and see how much my cousins were hurting. Having lost both my parents, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I know it's never easy losing anyone, but I couldn't go and see the pain on their faces. It was hard enough at Jack's funeral. So I made my apologies to Nori's daughter. She understood.

Yesterday afternoon at thee o'clock, when the funeral was scheduled to begin, I said a little prayer for all of them, Nori, Jack, their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.

I hope my cousins pain is overshadowed by their happy memories and the love their parents showered on them.

RIP Aunt Nori. We love you.

Changing My Update Day

After the weekend I never remember what it was I wanted to talk about on here.  Conversely, I change my step count on Mondays so I changed my weigh in day to Monday.

So, I'm changing my update days for these two blogs for consistency sake. And because I can.

Have a great week and I'll be back on Friday!

Visit with Family

First, last week Music Man and I went to Ventura area, specifically Camarillo and Oxnard, for my birthday. It was really nice to have some time alone with him and to relax. I had passed my networks assessment and the down time was really refreshing. We got home late on Thursday and Friday morning we discovered the fuel pump in our truck has gone out. Oh joy. So, we get to fix that. Had to wait until this morning to get a price on a new one cause the shop we were planning to use was closed for the weekend. Hopefully we can get that done this week.

Yesterday, I got to see my sister, Jujubee, and my niece, Princess Chica. Jujubee and Chica came by to pick my up since the truck is on the DL (disabled list). First we went by the cemetery to put flowers on Mom and Grandma's graves. Sorry Grandpa, you get flowers next time.

Then we went to Denny's for lunch. It was really nice. We chatted for several hours. Before we realized how late it had gotten and that we should have been home a long time before that.

Today, my cousins Rainbow Brite, The Chef, and Rainbow's 3 year old son, Little Bear, came by for a few minutes before they all headed out of town. Little Bear was sleeping cause he had taken some Benadryl since he's allergic to dog saliva. Good thing Rainbow Brite gave him Benadryl cause this little guy nearly lost his damn mind over visitors:

I love that picture of Miss Goofy's dog. He's so adorable.

Anyway, looking forward to getting my next two classes done and possibly getting a third one in there. And just enjoying the spring weather. Even if the wind is a lot cold today.

Have a great week and go visit someone!

So Excited!

I know I wasn't going to post anything today but I decided to do it anyway.

Tomorrow is my test for school and I'm feeling like I'm ready for it. So, yay me!

After my test we are going out of town for 2 nights and three days! My wonderful hubby is taking me out of town for my birthday and I am so looking forward to it.

Now if the laundry would finish so I can pack, everything would be awesome.

And the mail. I'm waiting on the mail which is normally here between 10 and 11. It's nearly 4 and still not here. Not sure what to think of that.

Okay, off to accomplish stuff before I leave tomorrow!

Have a great week!

No Post Next Week

I will not be posting next week. My birthday is Wednesday and my present from Music Man is a couple of days away from home. Given our limited space, that's probably the most thoughtful gift he could give me.

Otherwise not much is going on around here. It's been quiet.

Music Man and I have been studying. Miss Goofy has been been working.

We did have a doctor's appointment for Music Man for his knee. The doctor needs an MRI before anything more can be done. So we're in a holding pattern there. Though he did seem concerned by how sore it is.

Well, hopefully I'll have more to post week after next.

Have a great week!

Heroism

When I was a little girl, my daddy was my hero. He was big and strong and I knew he would protect me from the world.

As I got older, my mom was my hero. She didn't have the physical strength of my father, but her mental fortitude was impressive. 

In the face of tragedy and abject grief, my grandmother became my hero. How that woman survived losing two children, her husband, her dream retirement home, and still laughed and smiled at me...well, I hope to have her strength.

This morning, I had the realization that I have a hero who I've been married to for nearly 18 years. I've called him that before but this morning it really hit me hard. 

Memories are funny things. They pop us when you least expect them and frequently it's something you didn't realize you needed to remember.

More than 10 years ago, my husband worked for a facility that cared for people with brain injuries. They were supposed to be rehabilitating them so they could rejoin society and live on their own. That was the selling point for the job. Once he started there, he discovered a whole other aspect of the place. It was a rehab for drug addicts. 

I'd like to take a moment here to say, if someone is on drugs and sincerely wants help, I have no issue with a facility that helps them. Those who are in such a place because of a court order, I have an issue with because they are dangerous to the rest of the residents and the staff.

Back to my story. Most of the people there as a drug rehab were not there because they chose to get help and frankly, I think it was the wrong type of facility for that. If they were there for an injury and a drug issue it usually meant they were injured at work and this was the company's way of treating the worker so they couldn't sue. 

Because of the drug rehab nature of the facility, you had people there who had a brain injury who didn't want to be there cause of the drug aspect. We didn't know any of that when Music Man started working there. Once we did, we decided to make it work until he could find another job.

Music Man is not a small man. So when the larger male clients would get out of control, Music Man was one of the people expected to respond. One particular day, one of the fellow RA's (Rehabilitation Assistant) came to the apartment my husband was working in and explained their client was out of control and could he come help. Music Man agreed and told the girl to go get a supervisor. He knew the client had a reputation for needing to be taken down and restrained. 

My husband went into the apartment. The client had already knocked his RA to the ground. She didn't weigh 100 pounds and was maybe 5 feet tall. She was more like a child than adult in size. The client had pulled his fist back and was ready to punch her in the top of the skull, more than likely killing her, at the very least making her a patient of the facility, except the employees didn't have insurance good enough to cover the expense of that place.

Music Man managed to distract the client, his fellow RA was able to get away, and in the ensuing scuffle, Music Man was hit in the head. He was hurt. Suffered a mild-moderate concussion and rather than praise him for saving his co-worker, the facility tried to say he wasn't hurt. He was sent to one of their doctors who said he had an inner ear infection, however he didn't prescribe him any antibiotics for the infection. A second doctor looked in his ear and said, "You have the cleanest ears I've ever seen. There's no sign of infection."

Ultimately, we hired an attorney and eventually the company settled. Still trying to say basically it was my husband's fault. He was a hero to the company for saving his co-worker, a hero for not costing them the payout for a wrongful death suit, a hero to the girl and her family, yet they made a villain of him. 

Let me back up a little further so I can explain why this story is important to me today. 

Before Music Man and I ever met, I was living with my boyfriend, his sister, and his sister's partner, in Fresno. We lived in a condo and had neighbors on either side of us. It was a cute little two bedroom two bathroom place and while some issues with it were annoying, it was perfect for the time and situation. 

We also had a small yard in the back that was completely unreachable except through the sliding glass door in my bedroom and the window in my sister-in-law's room. So we felt safe leaving the door and window open 95%  of the time, closing them only when it was too cold. 

Our neighbors on one side moved out and a young couple, a little older than the four of us moved in. They had a small son. Since I don't remember their last name, didn't keep in touch after I moved, and highly doubt they would ever read this blog, I will use their real names. The woman was Devon and while she was bit over the top, she and I got along pretty well. We went to Overeaters Anonymous together a couple of times, we'd chat in the driveway, they even invited us to their parties. 

Her husband was Todd and he would jump from job to job. He'd be with one company for a few months then move to another, then move again in a few months. I think he worked for three or four companies in the short time I lived next door to them. Devon always had an excuse for him. That sent up a red flag but I ignored it.

Their son, Austin, was adorable. But seldom outside. And he was basically a perfect child in that we never heard him. Yet another red flag that I ignored.

I remember thinking, even though Todd jumped around the job market, they had a pretty good life. They had lots of friends, Todd made good money, and their cars weren't in a near constant state of repair. I wasn't jealous exactly, just looking forward to a future like theirs.

And then came the night where my entire perspective changed.

My boyfriend had gone to bed, his sister, her partner and I were in the living room. Watching television or playing video games, something or another, when we heard my boyfriend start yelling in a panic, "I'm coming, I'm coming, where are you?" Followed by our bedroom door opening then slamming, him running into his sister's room, yelling "Where are you?" then running back to our room. 

I jumped up and followed him, getting into the bedroom just after him. He was standing at the sliding glass door when I walked in, then he stepped back slightly. It was a subtle movement but significant. When I got to the slider I saw our next door neighbor. Her purse was in our yard, where she'd thrown it, along with I wanna say a shirt. I saw her face for an instant and then she was gone. She had been crying and her eye was swollen. 

She came over later that night to get her stuff. She was embarrassed because she'd tried to climb over the fence to get help. I was in shock and horrified we hadn't helped her. I don't know what anyone else in the house thought. 

We talked to her a little and tried to comfort her. I have no idea how successful we were. I stayed away from her after that, mainly cause I was scared of her husband. I saw her black eye. I saw her busted lip. I saw the finger marks on her throat. 

I hope she got out before he killed her. I hope she got her adorable three year old to safety and prevented him from growing up like Todd. I doubt it though. She didn't know where to turn and sadly our house failed her that night. 

My ex was a coward. All he had to do was go outside and help her over the fence. We could have locked the doors and called the police. Devon and Austin would have been safe. It would have been scary but it would have helped her. At least let her know someone cared.

Music Man, bless him, went charging into a situation. He didn't care if he got hurt, he was doing the right thing. Someone needed his help and he was going to help. End of story. 

In the aftermath and chaos of Music Man's injury, I got angry with him for risking himself. I was angry with the company for saying he'd done wrong. I was angry with their lack of concern for his health. I was angry that he was hurt. 

I told him he'd been wrong and he shouldn't have helped her. We've argued over it many times in the interim. I made him apologize to me for going in that apartment because if something had happened, what would have become of our daughter and myself. 

This morning, I remembered my ex's cowardice. I remembered Music Man's bravery. I remembered my ex always ran from things instead of facing them. I remembered Music Man nagging me to talk to him even when I didn't want to. I realized at the end of the day, I couldn't deal with my ex running from everything and being a coward. That was why we split up.

Music Man, I'm sorry for being so angry for so long. You are a hero. You knew the danger. You went in anyway. And I love you for it.

For all the men and women who see something happening and go charging in to help, thank you. For those that turn the other way, stay out of the way, the heroes are coming.

Coughing and Retirement

Miss Goofy gave Music Man and I the plague. At least that's how it felt for a day or so. We haven't been coughing nearly as much as she has.

Except for tonight when I am hacking up a lung. Possibly cause I knew I needed to try and get my steps in before it got dark outside. I did it though. 5000 steps. I'm exhausted.

The Grumpy Old Man retired on April 1st. I swear that's not an April Fool's Day joke. He's actually been pretty cheerful for 90% of the time. We're going to hope it stays that way.

Next week is Music Man's doctor's appointment with a new doctor. Hopefully one that won't just prescribe pain pills.

Off to shower, before dinner!

Have a great week!

Since January

A lot has happened since I last posted. And yet it feels like not much has happened.

Where to start?

Okay, so I didn't pass my networks assessment, which means I'm in the class again. Oh joy. Hopefully I'll get it knocked out soon.

Music Man and I went away for what was supposed to be four days and turned into six. It was heavenly. I love the central California coast and that's where we went. The extra days came because the car we originally rented had an issue and it took us the better part of a day to get a new car. We finally did and they comped us the weekend. It was worth it.

I've missed my mother a lot the last few months. It's been rough for me. I'm not even sure why I've missed her so much, I just know I have.

Miss Goofy turned 22 yesterday. I'm not sure how I'm old enough to have a daughter turn 22. It feels like she was just born a few days ago.

I'm starting a new step count program on the 1st of April. My goal is to finish it this time. :)

Let's see, what else? Oh the Grouchy Old Man is retiring this week. He's going to be home every day starting on Friday. Oh my.

I think that's about it for now. I'll try to keep putting update my blogs on my to do list. We'll see if I manage to do so.

Have a great week!

New Year, More Posts?

I bought a new planner for the new year. I debated whether or not to do so for quite a while. I don't like spending money on dated planners cause I wind up forgetting to use them. That said, I really like the company that makes the daily to do list that I use. I looked at their website and finally found a dated planner that I thought might work for me.

Up to this point, I had been using a 3-ring binder with monthly, weekly, and daily calendar pages that I printed off the internet. It worked pretty well when I remembered to use it. I also have tried using an app on my iPad. That works pretty well for keeping Miss Goofy's schedule until I can write it down on the family calendar in the kitchen. And I love the shopping part of the app. It's great when I do grocery shopping.

My biggest problem seems to be that if I have a stretch of time where I am unable to get stuff done, I stop using my daily to do lists and then forget to update the calendar. Something I need to work on obviously cause I have got to manage my time better.

When we lived in Bakersfield, I had lots of stuff going on, all the time. I had a calendar I wrote it all down on. I also had routines. Something that I don't seem able to have at this point in time. Music Man hurt his knee nearly a year ago and Miss Goofy works retail so her schedule constantly changes. That makes my life and routines hard to maintain. I've decided that shouldn't make a difference. I can still have a routine and schedule my days. I just have to be willing to be a little flexible and if I don't get something done one day, or a bunch of somethings as the case may be, that's okay, I can move stuff to the next day.

Back to my original thought, which was my new planner. The first page asks you to write a personal mission statement for the year. I thought about it a lot. This is what I finally came up with: "My mission is to be an example of patience, perseverance, kindness, and honesty to my family, my friends, and to the world."

I know it's very generic but that's the point. My mission statement shouldn't have lots of specifics in it. It should say, in very general terms, what I want to accomplish. My goals should then reflect my mission statement and be the way to accomplish my mission. At least that's the way I feel about it.

I've made some goals for the year (I'll share those next week), and some of the new things I want to accomplish. For now, I'm just going to take a short walk around the house, cause one of my immediate goals was to get more exercise. I found a 30 day walking program that increases your daily step count and today I need to walk 3000 steps and I'm only at 752.

Have a great week and I'll post again next Monday!

Augh! It's Almost November!!

And that means it's nearly frantic writing time!

This year I am so not prepared. Normally I have an idea for a story sometime in September, early October at the latest.

This year I'd had a thought but it turns out, I'm not as ready to confront the past as I thought I was, so instead of writing a story of two elderly women and their adventures I spent the weekend in a panic trying to figure out what to write.

Then yesterday afternoon, I had a moment of inspiration. Today I've spent time working on an outline. The biggest challenge will be missing the first two days of NaNo. Well, having to write on my iPad cause I won't be home and I'm not taking my computer.

That said, I am going to an event with Miss Goofy. It's happening in Los Angeles this coming weekend. At the convention center in fact. She and I are going to be gone for 3 nights and four days. By ourselves! We're pretty excited about it.

Not sure there's anything else going on at the moment. Mostly I'm just wondering if my neighbor across the street realizes it was in the 70's today and should be tomorrow too. She was wearing a jacket and knit cap most of the day and looked like she was freezing. I don't know how she's going to survive the snow.

Of Possible Furloughs and Other Random Happenings

Well, there is a good chance the Grumpy Old Man will be furloughed later this week. We'll see how it goes and if it happens. My bathroom might get done if he is furloughed. Well, done sooner anyway. Sadly, I don't know how much I'll get done. It seems like when he is off, I get so little done. And I'm not just talking about school work, but house work too so we'll see what gets done.

I learned the mobile home my grandmother bought and was living in when she passed away was finally sold. Miss Goofy met the woman who bought it and said she was very nice. Sadly the park manager lied about some things in regards to the trailer, though what I don't know. I do know that while the shower in the master bathroom was fixed, the two broken windows weren't. And apparently there are cracks in the secondary bathroom shower.

I started making notes for my NaNoWriMo book for November. I'm doing something a little bit different this time. I'm going to write a book that feature two older women, best friends in fact, and the adventures they go on when they leave their former lives behind. It's a tribute to my grandmother and her best friend. I'm really excited about it and looking forward to writing something really different for me.

School is progressing slowly but I am making some progress.

Music Man's knee is less painful than it was but it's still got moments when it's pretty sore. He's putting applications in all over the place in hopes of finding another job cause he is not going to be able to do the one he had when he got hurt. So, we're hoping something comes up soon. His doctor can release him in November but if he finds something sooner that doesn't involve being on his feet 8 hours a day, his doctor said he might release him early.

I lost 3 pounds last week, so I'm pretty happy about that. Sadly I didn't go to the gym much so I think it was just from watching what I eat. I'll have to step things up for the gym to be effective.

I think that's all the news for the past couple of weeks. I'll try to update again next week.

Missed A Week

I still don't have a shower in my bathroom. But I have been able to use the Grouchy Old Man's so I'm stinking up the place.

Music Man's glucose numbers are coming down and the more we go to the gym, the lower they get. We've actually had several tests come in the normal range so we're excited about that.

I started working on getting the house and myself prepared for the holidays. I've begun Christmas shopping. I've bought a few decorations for Halloween and harvest. This week I need to decide if I'm making any gifts and if so I need to plan what I'm doing and get started. I start my Christmas card list too.

And finally, I have to say, to my best friend:

Happy Birthday DolphinLady!

We have been best friends since the summer before we started high school and I never could have made it through some of the stuff that's happened in my life without her. Love you Sis!

A Crazy Couple of Weeks

The past two weeks have been chaotic. Music Man had his surgery, which I covered in my last post. Miss Goofy went to visit TheWeatherGod and DolphinLady and I pretty much just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. I've been a little stressed.

Back to the story about the doctor visits. Apparently, the healthcare company that we have been going to had issued a laptop to an employee. Said employee had left the laptop in their personal car. Said car was broken into and laptop was stolen. The hard drive was password protected, however it was not encrypted. The healthcare company was supposed to notify all patients of a potential breach of their privacy. We found out cause I was not allowed to go back with Music Man for two appointments now. Something most doctors recommend since as a patient it's very difficult to remember what instructions you've been given. Anyway I was fuming the last time they wouldn't let me go back with him and staring at poster on the wall for the company. It listed a website for the company at the bottom of the poster, so I picked up my cell phone and looked up the website.

That would be how I found out about the breach. Funny thing, I wasn't allowed to go back around the time we should have been contacted by. Hence the reason I think the two are connected. Not to mention they called us last Friday to remind my husband he had an appointment with the doctor who did his surgery on Monday morning. He said, I thought my appointment was the 1st. The girl told him no, it was Monday and it was with the surgeon not the clinic. Okay, we were going to take Miss Goofy so she could go for her trip anyway, so we went with it.

Today, they called to remind him of his appointment tomorrow. Music Man may have gotten upset and told them no, he just saw them last week, it's been two weeks since surgery he's not scheduled for another appointment until the 15th, we thought. She looked up the appointment saw he'd seen Dr. E last week and that he had an appointment scheduled for the 15th and canceled tomorrow's appointment. Now I just hope it really was canceled cause supposedly it was taken care of last week. We'll see.

So after surgery, we were told by the doctor and the nurse, that Music Man had developed diabetes. We'd known for a long time that he was borderline. His glucose was over 300. Way too high. So we immediately started researching what to do. I spoke with the nurse extensively. He had a lot of advice and suggestions. I messaged my sister and then posted on facebook. I've gotten a lot more information. What we've found is helping his numbers the most, no carbs, or very little carbs, lots of proteins like chicken and oddly enough peanut butter has helped. And the big one, exercise.

We joined a gym on the 26th. We've been twice. I know not often enough but we've felt so much better when we've gone. Saturday I did not want to go but Music Man finally convinced me. I felt incredible afterward. Today, I did not want to go, but I did and again, I feel incredible.

And the best part? The shower afterward. Yeah, cause Music Man told the Grouchy Old Man about a crack in our tub. So on Friday, he (the Grouchy Old Man) removed the tub. He didn't replace it yet cause he's decided that means it's time to redo the bathroom. So we're in the middle of a remodel, again. And this time we don't have a shower in our bathroom. We can use the one in his bathroom but I like to shower late at night, right before bed. Haven't been able to do that since Friday. Oh and Thursday, I was so tired I didn't shower before bed. Friday I couldn't shower, so Saturday after working out, I had to. Somehow I didn't get a chance to shower Sunday before Grouchy went to bed so, this afternoon, a shower at the gym was awesome!

Well, that's the news from here! Have a great week!

Surgery Day!!!

Way back in January, Music Man was at work. He was climbing into a lifted truck. His foot caught on a carpet hook and when he moved to sit down, his foot stayed in one place. That's how he tore his meniscus. It's been painful for him.

He had surgery back in February. The doctor who did was very kind, made me feel a lot better, and did a good job on the knee.

In May, Music Man was at physical therapy. They were doing the evaluation for the doctor on his recovery. They had him do a squat. Music Man even asked if they were sure they wanted him to do a squat. They were adamant. He had to do a squat. He felt his knee go funny, it popped loudly and was quite painful. They iced it but also said they weren't comfortable treating him again until he saw the doctor again. (Duh, dumb ass.)

He saw the surgeon at the end of May and he was not happy about the squat. He sent Music Man for another MRI of his knee. When we saw him in June, someone, (okay it was me) forgot to bring the CD with the MRI on it. He was able to read the report though and knew the meniscus had torn through.

He told  us, "My next surgery day is in July. As soon as we get approval, we'll add you to the roster."

I don't know if the nurse at the doctor's office failed to send over one of the forms or if the nurse case manager for the insurance company lost the form, but one of them did. So approval didn't come until the Wednesday before surgery.  I had already made plans for Thursday morning, so when the doctor's office called and wanted Music Man in for his pre-op appointment, we had to tell them, we couldn't do that on such short notice. And by short notice, I mean they called at 4:55 pm on Wednesday to set up a 9 am appointment for Thursday. Could we go in Friday morning then? No, we have stuff planned.

At this point, the office staff were getting annoyed but they are the ones who suddenly needed us to come in for an appointment and frankly that ticked me off. So they finally said, "Well if you don't come in on Friday then it will be August before we can do the surgery."

Music Man was annoyed at this point and said, "Well since I hadn't heard anything I sort of figured it would be August. That actually works out better for me anyway. My wife is busy for the rest of this week and most of next."

So, we saw the doctor in July and explained we hadn't been there for the surgery cause of an issue with the insurance. He understood and said that he'd see us in August.

We had the pre-op appointment last Tuesday and that was a nightmare in itself that I'll cover another day. I've said all this to say, this morning Music Man has a second knee surgery for his torn meniscus. They will likely remove the rest of the meniscus and that will cause arthritis to set in early.

I'm not sure where all this going, I'm just hoping for a few prayers and good vibes coming our way. The surgery is set for 9:30 am. Hopefully it will go faster than the last one did. We spent nearly all day waiting for him to go in then to finally have his turn.

Next week, the pre-op appointment and the chaos that has been scheduling this surgery.

Have a great week!

17 Years Ago

Seventeen years ago today Music Man and I were married. It was his first marriage and my second. I remember hearing from other women how much more nervous they were the second time they got married. After all, they had either been through a divorce or death of a spouse and they knew the pain that could come from ending a marriage. I spent a lot of time in deep thought when I met Music Man. Wondering if it could possibly work for us. There were a number of strikes against us.

1. He was four and a half years younger than me.
2. He was in college and working part-time.
3. He was taking care of his ill father.
4. He was struggling to stay in college.
5. I was divorced.
6. I had a child.
7. I was working part-time.
8. I had dropped out of school.

And that was before we started to date. Our first date was February 21, 1998. He proposed on March 27, 1998 and we got married on June 20, 1998. Yeah, you can say it was fast. 

On our wedding day, Music Man was nervous. Not about whether we'd make our marriage work, we'd already discussed that and had agreed it would. He worried about being the husband I needed and the father my daughter deserved. He has done wonderfully at both. 

However, I was not nervous on our wedding day. Sure some details had me concerned but I was calm about the future. I knew I was marrying the right man, possibly because I'd already married the wrong one. But I just remember feeling confident and excited about our future. I remember knowing we'd get through anything.

That said, I've noticed a lot of people asking couples who have been married a long time how they did it and I've read a lot of articles by people who have achieved some astounding anniversary. What those articles don't take into consideration is the individual needs of each marriage. That said, I am going to list here what works for Music Man and I.

• Laugh together. If Music Man and I hadn't and didn't still laugh at some of the stuff that's happened to us over the years we never would have made it this long. Laughter is healing but it also brings us closer to each other, it keeps us in tune with the other's mind space, and it gives us the opportunity to be silly together.
• Music. For us, music is an important part of our marriage. Me singing, poorly at times, and him playing whatever instrument he can get his hands on at the moment, brings us together. Music again gives us insight into how the other thinks and feels at the moment. 
• Touch. I'm not talking about sex here, though that is important too. I'm talking about hand holding, a hug, a peck on the cheek or even just a gentle caress on the back as you pass each other in the kitchen while preparing dinner. Humans crave contact with other humans and a gentle touch lets us feel connected to another person.
• Taking the time to learn about the other. I love Lego's. Seriously, it's pretty close to an addiction for me. I may have missed my calling as an architect or engineer. That said, Music Man buys me Lego's. It fills a need in me and it shows me he paid attention to which ones I said I really wanted. He loves stuffed animals. I buy him stuffies as often as I can find space for them. Again it fills that need for him and shows him I paid attention when he said he would love a stuffed ________.
• Argue. Yeah, that's right, I said arguing helps our marriage. It allows us to get things off our chest we had kept to ourselves so as not to hurt the other. Now, I'm not saying be abusive or call each other names. What I am saying is by arguing we have shown each other we have a passion about our lives and we feel strongly enough to risk making the other mad or hurting feelings in order to fix a problem.
• Apologize. This one is sometimes difficult because you may feel you are one hundred percent in the right. And you may well be. But going to your spouse and humbly saying, "I'm sorry we quarreled," and having them say, "Me too," followed by a big hug, is the best feeling in the world.  
• Assume the best of each other. Music Man told me a long time ago that if he said something and it could be taken two ways and one of those ways hurt my feelings then he meant the other way. This one is hard because when someone says "Wow, you look awful, are you okay?" it's hard not to be hurt. That said, when Music Man says to me, "You look tired," I know he's really asking me, "Do you feel okay? Are you in pain? Is there anything I can do to help?" 

So that's our secret, seventeen years and that's what's worked for us. Oh and just to be fair, it hasn't always been rainbows and anniversaries. There's been illness, injuries, money worries, job worries, past emotional baggage, PMS, family problems, holidays, and generally life. And yet, I wouldn't trade it for the world and I'm glad I had my best friend by my side through it all. 

I love you, Music Man. Thank you for being with me on this journey. I look forward to another seventeen (at least) years with you!

It Was Time

I woke up this morning and looked at the time. 8:41. Time to get started on what was sure to be a difficult day.

Music Man and Miss Goofy were already up and on the back porch with our dog, Courage. I dressed quickly and began getting ready to leave the house.

Miss Goofy came in and told me the time frame for leaving the house. I nodded and kept working. Music Man had breakfast and so did Miss Goofy. I ate just before walking out the door. Music Man walked Courage and Miss Goofy got in the back of our SUV. I pulled the truck forward so Courage didn't have as far to walk. Music Man brought him to the back of the vehicle and lifted him into the back. I was proud of Courage for not completely freaking out and panicking.

The drive to the vet took much less time than we had anticipated. We were a half hour early.

I waited in the truck while Music Man and Miss Goofy went inside to discuss what was going to happen and how best to get Courage into an exam room.

Courage panted a lot. He was a little cold and a lot scared. I told him stories about the Elysian Fields. Yes, I know they were reserved for humans related to gods and other heroes. I also know it was expanded to include humans chosen by gods. I'd like to think dogs would have loved romping and playing in some place like that. I know Courage would have loved to run and jump and chase rabbits there.

Music Man and Miss Goofy came out to the truck and we got Courage out and standing so he could go pee. We even got him into the exam room with little difficulty.

The vet, an incredibly sweet lady, with such a good way with animals and a tender heart, and her equally helpful vet tech, came into the exam room. We discussed costs and what was going to happen. After a few minutes another tech came inside, she had the syringe for the sedation.

The vet warned us, it was the part that would hurt. Courage didn't cry or struggle, he did look a bit annoyed though. The tech and vet left the room while they waited for it to take effect. We hugged Courage and told him we loved him. We told him we didn't want him to hurt anymore.

The vet and tech returned and carefully scooted him around. The vet shaved part of his paw and they began the final injection. Music Man and Miss Goofy pet him and loved on him while I could only stand and watch as the fluid left the syringe and flowed into our beloved dog.

He had been such a joy to have.

He stopped breathing before the injection was finished. The vet waited a couple of minutes after she finished the injection and then listened for a heartbeat. When she was satisfied there was none, she handed the stethoscope to her tech who listened and after a minute she was also satisfied.

The vet was even choked up as she injected Courage. Finally, the two women stood and told us we could stay as long as we wanted. We all hugged him again, knowing he wasn't hurting anymore and we were only hugging an empty vessel.  We told him we loved him, we thanked him for being our dog and we quietly gathered our things to leave.

Miss Goofy let them know we were finished with our good-byes and we made our way to the SUV. It felt weird to drive away and leave him. I know he is much better off now. I know keeping him alive would have been torturous to him. It still hurts us though.

He was six weeks old when we got him. A big furry, fuzzy, rompy, barking puppy who we could tell was going to be enormous. He was such a sweet dog though. And without more than a stump for a tail. He was the first dog I'd ever had. And I had always been afraid of big dogs. All signs pointed to him being huge.

The first couple of weeks it was just he and I during the day, while Music Man worked and Miss Goofy was in first grade. I'd sit on one end of the couch and he'd jump up on the other end and bark at me. I had no idea what he wanted, I just knew those first weeks it scared the crap out of me when he did that. Not just the noise of his bark in my quiet house but I didn't know what he wanted. Part of me feared he might try to bite me.

I'd get up and take him outside. He'd go running to play and I'd go back inside. He'd be back at the door within a minute, barking to come back inside with me.

Eventually we figured out how to play together. And I even looked forward to my time alone with him. He was a great listener. He'd just nap on my foot while I chattered away about whatever was bothering me.

He'd jump on the bed at bedtime and take over Music Man's side, snuggling into me when he did. Until Music Man finally could convince him to get down.

A year ago we took him to the vet, he had blood in his urine. She was so kind and caring, we knew when the time came and it was necessary to have him put down, she was the one we wanted to do it. She was the reason we had another year with him. She prepared us for the day we'd have to come back and we wouldn't bring him home. She knew it was coming but also that we weren't ready. Like I said, she gave us another year with him.

The last six months, he's been in a lot of pain. He stopped playing and mostly barked. He'd started showing signs of dementia, where he'd lose us and get scared. He wouldn't eat much. He lost a lot of weight, probably forty-five pounds. He'd been about 120. He had trouble sleeping. He didn't even want comfort anymore.

It was time.

RIP Courage. We love you. Thank you for being our dog.

Progress As Promised

Before I moved to Oklahoma there were a lot of campaign promises made to the residents of Tulsa. One of the major ones had to do with fixing the roads. They were really bad. Nothing was getting done though, even after the elections and everyone had settled into their offices.

So people began calling the city and complaining that nothing was getting done about the roads. It was a huge deal.

Shortly before I moved, signs went up all over town and then they started fixing the roads. All of them. At once. Someone was annoyed with all the calls. And what did the signs say you ask?

Progress as promised.

Ah! Oklahoma, I miss you some days.  Not when you have tornadoes but you know.

So, I told that story just to explain the title of this post. And to say, I have a NaNo update.

If you look at my sidebar, you'll see that I have days where I have written nothing. Then I have other days where I have written a ton. For example, the 21st was rather productive for me.

That said, this morning, I needed to get 8,115 words written by midnight on the 30th. In the last three days I've written over 13,000 words. I think I can do it. :)

My goal for this year is to finish on the 26th. That's Wednesday. And that's 2,705 words per day. I'm fairly confident I can accomplish that before midnight on Wednesday. I'd make Tuesday my goal but I have some other stuff to do today and tomorrow and I don't want to overload myself. Though if I reach it tomorrow, I'll make sure everyone knows.

Happy Thanksgiving and have a great week!